


The Matter of Value

by stainhermouthred



Series: The Matter of Value [1]
Category: Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616, Secret Avengers
Genre: A.I.M., A.I.M. doesn't give up, AU -ish, After Secret Avengers, Aftermath of brainwashing, Attempted Rape, Before Secret Wars, Bobbi getting shit done, Bobbi's head is not okay, F/M, Fixing relationship, Mild Sexual Content, Nat and Bobbi Friendship, Rape References, Story of Bobbi Morse, Swearing, getting memories back, little violence, memory lose, mission
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-14
Updated: 2015-07-06
Packaged: 2018-03-01 11:25:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 35,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2771270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stainhermouthred/pseuds/stainhermouthred
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>SPOILERS TO SECRET AVENGERS VOL 2<br/>(After whole thing with braiwashing and being a sleeper Bobbi ended up not remembering Clint at all.). Previously: Baby, don't forget you loved me</p><p>Bobbi's memory and head are not entirely okay so she joins Bucky and Daisy as a free agent. The suggestion about Hawaii? Totally great idea, bad guys are everywhere. Soon Bobbi is faced with people of her past there's only one problem... There are pieces missing. Bobbi tried to find out more about the man who calls himself her ex-hsuband until she learns some little fact from theit past while Someone really wants to recruit her. And they're not friendly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own characters or the universe or anything really  
> SPOILERS  
> SPOILERS  
> Spoilers that are pretty helpful when it comes to this story:  
> 1\. Barbabra was working with A.I.M. they brainwashed her and let her go undercover as a completely different person hence Bobbi was created.  
> 2\. Bobbi and Clint got married pretty quick. She had a miscarriage. The whole story with phantom rider. Then Clint and Bobbi had a massive fight and decided to get divorced.  
> 3\. She was taken by Skrulls. And she survived. She was the nightmare story of skrulls' children.  
> 4\. She came back and with Clint the tried to make it work again. Failed.  
> 5\. then there was that secret mission for secret avengers "How to maim a mockingbird" and she got her old persona back. Which hugely messed with her head she lost some memories and basically her personality was split. And she forgot Clint. WHICH for the sake of this story is amplified  
> 6\. She became a free agent with Bucky and Daisy and wanted to go to Hawaii with them.  
> Here, that's it. The story that you need to know so my fic makes sense.  
> Basically some little facts from Bobbi's story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is all fun and games. just to get myself going. and yes it used to be split in two but I decided that I don't want to bore you to death before action starts so here we are.

_When she made a plan to meet someone from A.I.M., especially someone in charge she expected their position to be reversed. And she promised herself that there would be no leverege, no ties that can be used to manipulate her. She had a plan and they wanted her alive it should have been easy enough._

_Now she was kneeling in front of a  black haired woman, panting and crying both from the pain and grief._

_It should have been easy enough. Now she gained something only to lost it all over again._

_This time for good._

***

Bobbi, Bucky and Daisy actually went to Hawaii. It might have sounded like a stupid idea before but they didn’t really have place for themselves anywhere near DC. Especially considering the latest events. Hill thought Daisy was a traitor so her showing up was not an option, Bucky had his past and really more enemies than friends by now and there was Bobbi who was too screwed up to join any team. So, Hawaii. 

They rented a house on the beach and gave themselves one month long of well deserved holiday. Well kind of. Once Fury found out about their destination, he ordered Daisy and Bucky some mission there which Bobbi shouldn't know anything about. Spy work, deep undercover so they could relax a bit in the meantime. When Bobbi questioned him about not getting her any assigement he didn't answer which was worrying but understandable. She had been a sleeper before she joined SHIELD. She couldn’t be trusted. So she didn't dwell although of course it didn't mean she was okay with that, quite the contrary.

She was furious.

And she had two freaking voices in her mind.

She tried to reason with herself. With her other self too. Hell, even Bucky tried. He told her, reluctantly because it was a delicate subject, that when he was brainwashed his mind was still present there seeing what his body was doing. But it wasn’t the same. And she couldn’t really put it in words so she never explained.

"I'll figure myself out, Barnes, give me time" and he left her alone.  Or as close as she could get.

Bobbi and Barbara… they were both her. And yet one of them Barbara was erased for some time in order to create  the Bobbi. What’s more at some point Barbara was also brainwashed to murder SHIELD agents when she only wanted to be a biochemist and then she was put to sleep. She couldn’t explain it. She wasn’t exactly split in two but there was that second voice quiet and nudging and once it belonged to Bobbi and once to Barbara. To be honest? She felt like  third party in her own body. And the joyful part? She still missed some of her memories. At the beginning it was because her alter ego was fighting for control and In the meantime the memories got mixed up and some… lost.  She couldn’t remember some of her time at A.I.M.though  she remembered the murders and then  that man, the one who told her that he was her ex-husband. No memory of him. None.

But Bucky said it was true. And he looked like he lost hope when he said this. As if something like this has happened to him. Which kind of did but Bobbi didn't think he had the whole picture. Ironic, considering she's the one with memory hole. She remembered the whole thing with Natasha forgetting him. Somehow she managed to get that scrap of information from her brain but the difference was that… it was only the same for that guy… Barton. Not for her. Natasha remembered everything except for Bucky and she was as sane as a person recovered after brainwashing can be. Bad morals, relying only on herself… But she recovered. More or less. So however hard Bucky wanted to make a comparison he could go and pester Barton because it was not the same for her.

In the morning she was usually jogging on the beach. Sometimes Daisy was with her. Young girl. Bobbi was about ten years older than Daisy but it didn’t really matter in their lives. And she didn’t try to reason with Bobbi which was refreshing in exchange Bobbi almost never questioned her. It was a good partnership at least. More often than not she was alone. Bucky and Daisy had to go to work  and spend time with the mark. They couldn’t let her have some actual job because they agreed with Fury. She was unreliable. But sometimes they would take her to cause a diversion or distract someone which was as good as it could get.

She had a habit of sparring with Bucky, she liked him a lot. He didn't treat her like she was going to break apart from holding back with using his metal arm and she was really sorry after their workouts but apart from pain after sparring he also didn't lie to her. a lot. "No you can't know, sorry." or he would tell her just enough so she was able to figure out the rest on her own.

The room they were fighting in was a living room. Stil was but they pushed every piece of furniture to the wall and they had space big enough to fight. It also meant that pinning one to the floor was goddamn painful. But it was a good place, with lots of light coming from the huge windows and almost white walls. And they could be debriefed here so no unnecessary walking. That was always a good thing. 

They were fighting now and Bucky decided to bring up the subject she hated. And again, straight to the point.

"So, when are you going to see your therapist?" He punched her hard and she landed on her back. She coughed and kicked herself up on her feet.

"Not going to" she hissed trying to kick his head, nothing personal. He pushed her leg away making her lose her balance.

"You have to at some point" He made a move like he wanted to punch her and she jumped back.

"Nope"

"Bobbi, you'll be cleared for duty if you show up and make them believe that you're fine" So he might be winning but he was panting. And she haven't really used the full potential of her strenght yet.

Bobbi kicked him into the stomach sending him on his ass and looked down on him. 

"Or decide I'm nuts crazy and lock me up. I have to deal with it alone, Barnes" 

She left him there, feeling some sort of bitter satisfaction. 

She knew she had to go to her therapist. But not yet and she didn’t need a reminder.

Two weeks in and she actually started to like their life here. The voices in her head shut up for a while because there was nothing triggering around here and she found herself enjoying the day.

She woke up at the crack of dawn, stretching like a cat and trying really hard to forget about latest nightmare about the Skrulls and instead get ready for her normal routine. Like a jogging on a beach. She spotted Bucky there and no Daisy so girl was probably sleeping after the op. Barnes was yawning too but he was stretching nevertheless, ready for the jog.

“Trouble sleeping or do you miss my company so much?” She announced her presence loudly, not wanting to end up without her head. She would probably irritate him with her chipper tone but he seemed to relax on their little holiday.

“Missed your face” he grinned which was one big lie he probably had nightmares again just like she did but she wasn’t about to call him out on this. “and I have an offer for you. Tonight.” Now that sounded interesting.

They started their jog and she immediately quipped: “A date Barnes?  I’m flattered. Will you pick me up at seven?” she couldn’t resist. Really. Bucky just rolled his eyes. She was slowly becoming the Bobbi he heard Hawkeye met. Dry wit, constant teasing, no worries. Before the Skrulls she apparently used to be just like this.

“At six. And yes it’s a date, dress nicely. Remind Daisy to give you a comm.”

“Damn and here I thought I’ll have some fun tonight”

‘We both know you’ll have more fun undercover than on a real date with some creep”

“True” Bobbi sighed and picked up her speed. So operation night. She was so looking forward to this she got that wide grin on her face feeling excited like a kid getting a candy. Bucky made similar comparison later laughing at her childlike enthusiasm to trick someone.

She got debriefed by Daisy even though there wasn’t much she could now. Basically she had to keep the mark occupied for a few hours so the others could steal a hard drive with some evil plan scheme. The mark liked beautiful women and that was enough for her. She could work the rest out on the spot. Old-school spy work.

So here she was, standing in front of a huge mirror and getting ready. Truth be told she didn’t want to try too much considering it was some kind of a beach party. She wore her blue bikini and a white summer dress. She couldn’t really leave this colors behind they always found their way into her casual clothes. She left her hair loose and even put in them that stupid white flower which Daisy left her as a joke. She was on holiday just like her undercover self although she would also take a non lethal gun in her purse , not exactly a party accessory. And it made her feel underarmed but there was nothing to be done. Besides she was there only to be a distraction. No action. 

 

The party wasn’t a fancy affair. Bobbi was even more surprised that someone like her mark would attend such a thing. Either it was some secret meeting or someone was trying to keep a really low profile. Well she was about to find out.

There was a lot of people here, dancing and laughing. And the night was beautiful on the beach. To be honest the atmosphere of this place was amazing, she might convince Daisy to come here some other day. They would take Barnes even if he would spend the entire time at the bar which was the  place she was heading to now. Daisy said that the mark didn’t really participate just watched and sipped his drinks. She also warned Bobbi not to try to get him drunk because he was very careful to have his  mind clear all the time.

Tough luck. Lady charms then.

He was sitting with some young girl looking like she was Daisy’s age. And getting quite handsy with her. Well, Bobbi couldn’t have that and since she didn’t know a thing about the girl she decided on the old trick. She ordered some colorful drink and went in their direction, crowd was working for what she was about to do because as soon as she reached the pair she pretended someone pushed her. Simple effect. The girl’s dress was ruined and Bobbi landed half on her mark.

Series of apologizing and the girl leaving to wash her dress a little. Smooth. And taking her place. Bobbi loved it even though she craved a challenge.

“I am really sorry, have I ruined your date?” she bit her lower lip. Textbook. See if he notices.

“I’ve just met her…” he looked at Bobbi like he wanted to own her. If she didn’t know how to kill him, she probably would be terrified. Instead she met his eyes confidently and smiling a little asked “Mind me taking her place?”

“Not at all”

Well, that went easily. They were talking for about two hours with him ogling her all the time. She kind of wished Daisy would tell her how much it would take for them to steal whatever that thing was because it was getting kind of bad. He touched her thigh and she batted his hand away playfully laughing loudly of not getting ahead of himself and he took her hand instead.

He was few years older than her and handsome. Tall, muscular with dark hair and blue eyes shining with desire. She wouldn’t mind in normal circumstances. If he wasn’t her target and she wasn’t screwed up. Because flashbacks were horrible and she had one recently about being used by a man before. She couldn’t place it but she knew she was. Anyway her body was betraying her by trembling whenever he touched her too boldly and she couldn’t have that so she played her game while keeping distance. Of course she knew what was in store when she scared of that poor little girl. So when he offered he’d show her his summer house she agreed. 

Where the hell were Daisy and Barnes?

The house was pretty. Big with a lot of digital cameras and not-surprisingly exclusive. Bobbi didn’t really get time to admire it though because as soon as the door closed behind them he was kissing her hard and intense in the middle of a sqaure hallway. Tiny one compared to the rest of the house. She felt his tongue sliding inside her mouth.

She felt trapped but she could carry on for a few more minutes. Only.  Mission be damned she wasn’t about to let him sleep with her _... use her…._

She gasped which made him kiss her even harder mistaking her reaction for a sign of attraction. She responded in kind but inside of her all she felt was goddamn horror. Whatever her alter egos wanted they needed to shut up now. She couldn't lose control, not yet. Just few more minutes. She was wondering where were his bodyguards why no one was around because they were in fact alone. She heard nothing. She knew that he wasn’t armed. She would have noticed in the bar and her purse was safe behind her so he had no access to it. What she didn’t expect was his hand on her neck gripping tightly and a cold steel of knife against her stomach. Where the hell did it come from?

“Move and you’re dead.” He smiled at her menacingly pressing the blade to the fabric of her dress. One good push would be enough.

“What? What … do… you want” tears streaming down her face, she was grateful she cry at command, trying to get to him. Thankfully his grip on her neck was tight but not enough to choke her properly. She needed a good approach to get out. Didn’t feel like walking with on open wound. Again. It was a tradition she'd like to abandon.

“Stupid bitch, I know, you and your team are trying to kill me. They took down all my guards but this? Not gonna happen. Unless they want you to die with me. We’ll see how much they value a life of an ally." she felt the blade of the knife pressing into her body and it hurt. Son of a bitch cut her skin and stained her white dress, not enough to do any real harm but she wasn't exactly enjoying this.

If Bucky wanted to kill the bloody man she was going to stab him. With the same knife that is just making another scar on her body. What the freaking hell was that. No intel. It was like A.I.M. island but with people she trusted. More or less.

_…they don’t trust you, they don’t know who are you anymore…_

She felt a giant headache approaching. Last time she had one of these she could barely stand. She needed to act. Where were the guards….taken down. Oh God.

Bobbi looked him in the eyes and smiled coyly “You know the last person who threatened to kill me ended up practically without face.” He started choking her still wearing that creepy smile. 

“Guess tables are turned now. Shame, you really are pretty" at that point Bobbi decided she hated that guy. 

She punched him in the stomach with one hand and felt pain as she got stabbed. She couldn’t really think fast enough even though his grip got lighter. She head butted him hard enough to knock him out and let herself fall on the floor taking the knife out of herself. Great. _Again_. She wanted a special insurance from getting stabbed. And she was going to kill Barnes. As soon as she stopped bleeding. Oh God. She rose to her feet just in time to see a mass of red hair in front of her.

“Bobbi? Oh God…  Barton! Come here and take her I’ll take care of the target.” Bobbi’s headache was even worse now and all she saw was red. Her head hurt even more than her side. She saw purple.

 

***

 

Coming back to the world was awful. It was a lot of the pain before any other sensation. Yes, her head was killing her. Then she felt wood and gun powder. A hand stroking her cheek. She couldn’t open her eyes. She could hear yelling. Whoever was touching her needed to stop. she couldn't focus on more than one thing right now.

“You have eyes everywhere Nick and you just couldn’t have warned us that Hill sends her agents?!” sounded like Bucky. Damn it kid, shut up.

“IT WAS NOTHING HARMFULL. SHE COULD GO THERE OUT OF HER OWN FREE WILL AS WELL. NO MISSION JUST A PARTY.” Yeah right. Pick up the volume. Bobbi groaned audibly and the hand on her cheek stilled.

“Bobbi?” Hawkeye. Why did her head hurt so much… What was he doing here… Mission. Right. Her side didn’t hurt anymore. She was slowly coming around but she didn’t want to open her eyes and look at him. Not yet.

He had to knew she was conscious but never said a word. His hand lingered a little longer on her face and then he left. She heard some shushed voiced from the other room and wondered if she could get up and if she did would it popped her wound open. Problem was solved pretty quickly she pushed herself up and was pushed down but someone in the same time she felt the pain in her wound. Well, she popped something apparently.

Her headache was getting bearable so she opened her eyes to see Natasha glaring at her. Well that would be intimidating, if Bobbi cared. She opened her mouth to crack some joke but Nat silenced her with a look. Bobbi just raised her eyebrows at her and was met an eye roll. Good enough.

“So care to join me for a morning jog?” her head still was in pain and so was her side but she managed to grin at redhead.

“We’ll see. Couldn’t get a holiday without getting hurt?”

“You know, testing boundaries, with super soldier serum and stuff.” The serum was great. Her metabolism was higher and she was healing faster than normal people. Awesome stuff.

“You should be fine by tomorrow, son of a bitch barely grazed you. You looked a lot worse than you should with the wound like this.” Nat looked a bit puzzled at this.

“Well, thanks,  way to make a girl feel special. Glad at least you look good as ever.” Sarcasm was dripping from her words and she pretend to be cross with her but Natasha just winked . She was worried of course she was but had her suspicions.  For example she actually remembered that Bobbi wasn’t mentally in a top shape. Actually that she was unstable as hell would be a better term.

“How’s your head?”

“Telling me to kick you for being rude”

“And what’s reasonable side saying?”

“To choose your head”

“bitch”

“You love it”

They looked at each other for a few second before they started laughing loudly until Bobbi started moaning because her side hurt too much. Still they were flushed and smiling even when Bobbi winced as Nat bandaged her side. Again. Strangely enough she didn’t even let Bucky patch her up. He once tried but when his hand came to close to her bare stomach when he was putting the bandage on she got a flashback from being used which ended up in Bucky getting a pretty large bruise on his face. She got used to his casual touch by now. But she took care of herself on her own.

Natasha didn’t make her react this way. Maybe because she was a woman. Or maybe she knew her longer than Bucky maybe this was a reason. She didn’t know. But it felt good. And Nat promised she’ll stay for a while. Bobbi was curious what happened to the mark and found out he was sent off to Hill but it was none of her business. Classified. Like everything lately. Her companion said that she wanted to check on Clint and left her alone so with lack of anything better to do she drifted off to sleep.

Natasha watched her for a while feeling a pit in her stomach at the sight of her. Bobbi would be fine by the morning but she looked like she was blinded by pain yesterday and it couldn’t be from that cut. Her head then. She kind of explained it to Nat. That some scientist… Andrew… tinkered with her head and was stupid enough to mess things up. There was Bobbi and like… the old Bobbi in there with her. Cut in half. Both in the same body. And no idea how to fix it. Barton was insisting on staying here for a while. He joked about the beach mission being really rare but Nat knew that he wanted to try to get Bobbi to remember him or at least see how was she. Only at this point, she wasn’t sure he’d help her much.  But they would stay.

Bobbi was right as rain two days later which was ridiculous. She comes down and see that both Daisy and Bucky are gone again leaving her with Barton and Nat.  Only… Hawkeye’s apparently still sleeping so she goes to the beach to find Natasha already in the water.  Smirking she loses her clothes quickly and follows her lead. They behave like teenagers. Laughing and splashing each other. Enjoying their free time. When they’re out Bobbi finally asks something:

“Shouldn’t you be shipped off on another mission?”

“Nope. I mean I have only a day off. But apparently Barton messed up and has to help with something here. So at least one of us is staying.” She grinned at her. “So, girls  night out today?”

“Definitely”

They spent their day catching up on casual stuff and throwing each other into the sea. One whole day of total carefree break. Which was nice. Bobbi noticed Barton watching them from the window in the house and once she caught his gaze, she immediately turned her head. They didn’t talk, they were just passing each other in the hall pretending they were ghosts.

While Nat was chatting she mentioned Spiderwoman few times. Jessica Drew. Now that was a bit of a fuzzy memory. She liked Jessica. Or at least remembered liking her but she remembered something else too… what? Anyway Natasha was happily chattering about Jess and Carol Danvers and something about Kate Bishop… Nothing specific but still filling Bobbi in on what she missed was probably a good idea and she appreciated that.

 

She noticed Natasha glaring at something behind her and turned to see Hawkeye disappearing inside the house. It would be stupid suspecting that they didn’t talk about her but she was going to assume it was her own sanity. Besides she heard that he and Bucky had a talk yesterday. Or a shouting match. She could hear their stupid banter from upstairs. It wasn’t anything important but at least she found out that Barnes knew she could take care of herself. Nice change.

The common sense (or the voice she couldn’t tell) was telling her to stay away from Barton and his lost eyes when he realized she didn’t know him.

The night came beautiful as ever. They dressed up and went to hit one of these beach parties Bobbi liked on Hawaii. It looked and felt a bit cliché but they both liked it enough. Bobbi probably more considering her love to pop culture and stufflike this.

So here they were, drinks in their hands swaying a bit to the music enjoying their drinks even though neither of them could get drunk. Natasha flirted like mad with bartender until he asked for her number and she made him believe that she apologized but she wasn’t single and Bobbi, her girlfriend wouldn’t approve. Bobbi tried to play along but it was difficult since she wanted to laugh at the face of the poor man. Natasha held her hand firmly while he looked all flustered and she was just smirking confidently before she pulled Bobbi to dance.

“come on, darling, let’s show just how taken I am” she actually winked.

Yeah, that’s how they had fun. Toying with people’s minds. Like now, when Nat was keeping her hands firmly on Bobbi’s hips and moving along with her, pressed together. Bobbi’s hand landed in her hair tugging playfully. She noticed bartender watching them intensely and raised her eyebrows at the woman. Now they played that game too. Natasha laughed a little before pressing her lips against Bobbi’s practically hearing their audience reaction.

“Say hi, to Fury while he debriefs you about my mental state” she murmured against Natasha’s mouth almost not breaking contact. Redhead didn’t show any reaction. She was that good. Bobbi continued “and you didn’t have to bug  _him_. I never come here alone anyway.” Yep, she noticed. The whole secret was ridiculous. Nick had to know she’d know.

As for their audience Bobbi generally didn’t care what people thought so she tugged Nat closer, enjoying her lips. Kissing a man was completely different, her lips were soft and body warm and alive under her fingertips. They parted and laughed at the face of their victim before they continued their dance.

Nat didn’t explained, not one word about Fury and his order. She realized that Bobbi would notice at some point. She was smart, she had to. It was too dangerous for Bobbi not to know. Natasha decided to try and convince Fury to let blonde in on the mission since it was basically centered around her.

They came back at about three in the morning giggling like schoolgirls and walking immediately to their rooms to get at least few hours of sleep. Bobbi noticed Barton at the end of the hall almost invisible. Always watching. Like a ghost. She probably should have given it more thought but she passed out as soon as she got to bed.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay this is the second part with more insight to Bobbi's head and her current dynamic with Hawkeye. Also A.I.M. really wants Bobbi. ...

Clint  has been watching over Bobbi for three days now. Her pale face when they found her stabbed. Her banter with Natasha. The recovery. Hell-ishly fast recovery actually. Girls’ day together, even little display in the club when they were kissing. Natasha literally forbid him coming closer to Bobbi since she didn’t remember him. Which turned out to be pretty hard so he kept watching but he kept his distance. Of course he knew she was aware of his constant presence but she didn’t yell at him yet and didn’t tell Natasha, otherwise the redhead would have stopped him.

Of course he didn’t come here to be a creep. There was the whole play with the mark who stopped Bobbi. Tasha and he didn’t want to kill him, only take him in and interrogate him. Hill told them he was involved with terrorist’s weapon transport which was almost fucking true since the guy was A.I.M. _Which_ Clint found out after the talk with Bucky, apparently Fury gave them quiet assignment on following him around and figuring out his plans. But Hill couldn’t have said. No way.

The three of them: Bucky, Daisy and Clint were in the kitchen and Bucky was trying to fill Clint in since Bobbi was sleeping. Needless to say Hawkeye was furious about the whole thing.

“How could you let someone from A.I.M. this close to her?!” he couldn’t yell but the intention was pretty clear in his voice.

“She was going out of her mind from boredom, we gave her the least dangerous thing. Flirt off” Daisy wasn’t fazed by  Clint in any way. She understood but she also knew what would  happen if Mockingbird was excluded one more time.

“Look, Barton. She’s okay. And we got what we wanted.” Bucky tried to reason with him, really, he understood what he was going through but now was not the time.

“The hard drive?” 

“Yep, this little thing”

They were sitting in a circle by the table and looking at the small object in the middle. Nothing special  but then… it never is.   
“what’s on it?”

Bucky and Daisy looked at each other briefly and Barnes plugged the device to the laptop and handed it to Clint. To be honest? It was a bunch of nasty stuff. Killing chips, torture machines… elaborate ones though. The virus for sleepers. The last one made him stop. It was the only thing that wasn’t finished although it had the mechanical side perfected to the last detail. It lacked the bio-chemical side  which was kind of weird, Rappaccini was with A.I.M. Brilliant biochemist, why didn’t she help? That’s actually the only thing he knew about that crazy woman. Biochemist from hell. He was trying to figure out why she didn’t participate when Bucky’s voice brought him back.

“That virus… Clint we need to tell Bobbi… it’s a sleeper thing… there’s a good chance A.I.M. wants to use it on her again since it worked almost perfectly the last time…”

Hawkeye straightened up at that. “Even if it’s true. We’re not telling her. I know she can handle it but she has to get better before she flies off to get hurt again. And believe me, I know, we have similar tempers. Call Fury, he’ll tell you the same thing”

He and Bucky glared at each other for a full minute before Daisy rolled her eyes and made a call. She gave Bucky the phone and he quickly reported what they found and once he finished his face was getting slowly more and more frustrated.

“Nick, she can handle it, it’s just a hard drive, damnit… and how exactly do you think she’ll react once she finds out?  … Whatever, I hope you’re right for her sake…” Bucky returned Daisy her phone and left not saying a word, visibly angry. Mockingbird has proved herself to be capable of surviving on an alien planet and yet Nick didn’t think she was ready. Even Hawkeye got a better excuse. Temper. These two were made of the same stuff.

While men were fighting, Bobbi woke up from another nightmare. She didn’t scream as she learnt not to during her time at the Skrulls. This nightmare had Hawkeye in it. Or was it someone else. He looked like him. Couldn’t be though. She was at Skrulls planet… She was at a compound in California and the next thing she knew, she was at the edge of a cliff with a ringing voice of her supposed husband “avengers don’t  kill!” it was raining. She didn’t kill anyone here… “You remember my ancestor?” female voice… familiar. Bobbi’s head was pulsing with pain which she felt even in her sleep. “You drugged me and you hurt me in a way only man can!” it was her voice… oh God she wanted to wake up. “When I bed her she’ll tell us everything” it was Clint’s voice. Bobbi woke up startled feeling tears streaming down her face. The tone… it was different, almost sinister. It couldn’t have been Hawkeye… Bucky told her Clint loved her. So the Skrull? She tried to stop the tears but there was no use. There were holes in her memory that were hunting her.

She was about to go to the beach when she stopped in her tracks. Bucky was on the phone talking about her. She heard the piece and felt annoyed. No more secrets. She could barely stand her own mind shutting her out. Not them though. She would take a look at the bloody device herself if she had to.

But first? Bobbi needed the courage to face her past. And it was not going to be easy plus she didn’t know him. That could be, of course , fixable. But it had to be slow. One day when Bucky and Daisy were out, she joined him on the couch watching some mindless TV show.

He looked like he was ready to flee but she flashed her best smile “May I?”. “Sure” it sounded almost choked. He was so tense she felt bad for him. She kept distance between them but looking at him now she wasn’t sure if it was for her or his sake.

Bobbi tried some mindless chatter about the show they were watching but it was monotonous and awkward. What’s more he kept glancing at her with that remorseful expression that drove her nuts even though she pitied him. She thought about some common ground, what did they have in common…

“Did you have any news from Nat? I haven’t heard from her since she left” Bobbi forced her body to relax. Common ground. She wished he’d make an effort to talk to her too

Bobbi watched him closely and it was probably rude but he did the same, only her eyes were curious while his – resigned. That’s not fair. But she noticed how his nose crinkled when he laughed, that there was his experience written on his face and if you look closely you could see his age there. His eyes lit up a little when he talked about Nat and Bobbi kind of wished  that some of it would get familiar. Because she wanted to remember that man. Who tried so hard not to bother her even if it was obviously hurting him. She heard they were similar in some ways. She wanted to know. She didn’t ask. Fear got ahead of her.

Later on, she had a fight with Barnes because she wanted to take part in next mission saying that if she was to stay in this house for another day while they’re off on duty, she would “go fucking crazy and that would be  problem since my alter ego is basically a bloody ruthless murderer.” Bobbi stormed out of the building and heard Bucky going after her and she saw that he was reaching to catch her arm. If he touched her, she would kill him. Honestly.

“Barnes, leave her for now.”

“Why?”

“She’ll come back. Calmer. You might want to talk to her then.”

Hawkeye was _very_ calm like it was normal occurrence in his life. Maybe it was. Bobbi get to her hidden spot on the beach where they couldn’t watch her from the house. She was furious, really but she understood. That kind of anger was the worst, the irrational one which couldn’t be easily burnt…  She felt someone behind her and got ready to pounce on that person. It was her spot. she had a reason to come here. couldn’t they understand?!

She turned around quickly ready to attack but there was no one here. Instead on the sand about 10 feet from her were laying her battle staves. She should be mad that her equipment is getting dirty. But she hadn’t seen them in a really long time. She didn’t know there were even here on Hawaii… And she knew who brought them. She refused to acknowledge the warm feeling in her stomach. She felt gratitude. Nothing more…

That day seemed to encourage him to seek contact. One day she was on the beach stretching with him, making fun of some tourists. Another time she was alone, reading a book when he fetched her one of her favorite drinks. She had to fight an impulse to ask how did he know. Of course he knew. Seemingly meaningless things that made her heart beat harder because he knew almost each one of her quirks and he certainly needed time to learn them. Which resulted in  her being perpetually mad because her head still wouldn’t help her remember. 

But there was a bright side, after few days of the pair circling each other trying not to push too hard she finally had a night free of bad dreams. No she dreamt about L.A. and Tigra. These were happy memories she didn’t really have. She was aware that in L.A. she was a part of West Coast Avengers. But everything was really blurry.  Bobbi decided that it probably won’t hurt him and her too much if she asks how the hell they even met. Oh and about WCA.

She walked confidently towards the room that was used mostly for sparring. He said he’d train with her so in the meantime they could talk. She was almost there when a paper plane flied through the window. She caught it and looked outside but there was no one there. Bobbi looked at the paper plane and noticed letters. After unfolding she could clearly read one sentence “We’re waiting for you, Barbara”.

Paper planes? Bobbi didn’t know what she suspected from A.I.M. but definitely not this. No, she wasn’t alarmed they knew where she was. She was also sure that it was A.I.M. Who else is so desperate to recruit her. Idiots.  She ripped paper to pieces and threw it out before she enyered the room. 

Hawkeye was sitting there, smiling when he saw her coming and she couldn’t help but smile back. He was beautiful when he was smiling with that kind of boy-ish sincerity. That and the way he looked like, she knew why she would want to have him every day. Alright back to the reality. Sparring.

They have never done that (from her point of view) but she heard he was good so they could make it work. She missed sn actual work out with someone who knew how much she could handle and wasn’t holding back. Truth be told he was holding back from hitting anything that would put her down but he was better than everyone else worrying that she’ll snap. Anyway, after she quipped that  it was good to know he liked his ladies on top, he flipped them and she was trapped under him. Now that was interesting, he was getting uncomfortable again. She lied there content and smirking up at him. “showing off your dominant side now, are we?” she laughed, couldn’t stop herself.

She managed to see his eyes lit up dangerously before he leaned in until his lips were really close to her ear “Baby, that’s your favorite”. She realized she was biting her lip and stopped quickly so when he pulled back he was met only with  mocking expression.  “Now, that can’t be true”.

“Do you need a reminder?” his voice was pitched low and he was caressing her writs where he had her pinned.. wasn’t he involved with Jessica? Damn it.

“I really do” she flipped him on his back and got up. “You can start with how we met because frankly, sport? I don’t feel like having  gaps in my memory anymore” she grinned at him trying not to notice how hopeful he looked when she called him “sport”.

Clint pushed himself up and smiled sheepishly. “I thought you were an enemy while really you were working for SHIELD, I attacked you, got my ass kicked, you know usual” he actually grinned at her, idiot.

“And what? Maybe you’ll tell me that we immediately started dating?” Bobbi was stretching watching him and listening.

“Em… No we kind of skipped it and got married after three days”

“What?” Bobbi laughed at him convinced he was joking but he seemed to be a bit hurt by her reaction “Oh God, you’re not kidding”

“In my defence, it was your idea!” They were both laughing by now and Clint told  her about Crossfire and how he made them fight each other. How he lost his hearing because he was afraid of killing her and about the moment when thought that she was dead because of him. Bobbi knew it was only top of an iceberg but it was a crazy ride nevertheless.

She was about to ask him about WCA but she remembered something else. “What happened on October 12th? I saw today’s date and started crying even though I have no reason…”

Apparently she _had_ a reason and so did he. Eyes full of laugh and light closed, smile changed into thin line of his lips pressed together and his fist curled. He was trying to regain control over himself and she didn’t know what caused it. Was it the day of their divorce or…

“We… You and I… We had a child Bobbi” her eyes grew bigger and he swallowed hard “No one knew… only us… we were really excited… we wanted this kid…You miscarried… We thought that the baby would be born on October 12th…” he said that last sentence quickly. She knew he tried to compose himself.

Her mind has hidden from her the memory of her baby. Clint’s child. She stood there frozen feeling a tear slowly streaming down her face. She couldn’t move. Clint didn’t look like he was okay at all but he pulled out his hand towards her. Offering comfort. She probably should take it but she couldn’t. He grieved their child and she didn’t even remember that. Bobbi had to get out of there.

She left the room immediately She needed to get it out of her, when she was in New York she would go and hit some thieves or bullies but it wasn’t common in the neighborhood. She settled for training with her staves in her room ignoring another paper plane landing on her place. She could go to A.I.M. Kick them all in the face. But that would put her team in danger and she wasn’t that selfish or desperate yet. Well, she could always use a walk.

She slowed her movements and went to the centre of the town.  Her heart was beating way too fast but she looked like a normal woman on holiday. The area was full of stalls with cliché souvenirs which she had absolutely no interest in. But she watched them anyway just so she had something to do.

At some point she got distracted and bumped into some woman in her forties or so. She was opening her mouth to apologize when the woman smiled and said “We’re waiting Barbara, come back, we’ll truly appreciate your gifts”. Woman smiled again and continued walking. Bobbi started to worry if A.I.M. could find her among the crowd then she was in big trouble. That woman was just used to pass the message, wasn’t working anywhere. But they needed to point her the right direction damnit. She had to talk to Bucky and Daisy. But first, look at the bloody hard drive. She was almost sure these two were connected. Big applause for Fury for not informing her that she was in  a freaking danger. She was going to yell at him, they needed to talk anyway. She was not getting back to A.I.M. No.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The plot, yay!  
> I needed two chapters to get into Bobbi's head, rejoin her somehow with Hawkeye and drop some hints, now the fun starts...  
> WARNING:  
> READ THE TAGS,  
> Violence at the end of the chapter. Sexual and ... beating up.  
> ...

Getting her hands on a hard drive was easier than she thought. The only thing that had to be done was hacking into Bucky’s computer, laying cleverly hidden in a living room, but she still managed to find it and then… hacking. She could do that. She picked it up after her kidnapping. Bobbi wasn’t that good so she was aware that it would trigger some kind of alarm for the rest of the team but they could bite her now. The whole thing was about her anyway. She deserved to know.

Since they were going to come downstairs soon, she sat comfortably by the kitchen table, not hiding. The things that were on the drive… they were dangerous and cruel but she didn’t see anything that should have been hidden from her until she got to the last file.

Oh man. What the hell Rappaccini wanted? It couldn’t have been Andrew. Unless he survived having his face sliced but she had beaten him half to dead even before that. No, nor Andrew. So Monica Rappaccini. It was like a clear invitation “project not done yet, come and finish it”. Damn this woman, couldn’t give up. And the very thing in question was really great. Upgraded sleeper “virus” that Andrew used. Few more corrections, easy one if you knew what you were doing and it could be a success. Ethically the worst kind of control. Brainwashing.

She was sitting in the chair, leaning heavily on the table and trying to figure out why would A.I.M. make that idiot transport the hard drive to Hawaii, because frankly, from what she heard, taking it wasn’t especially difficult. They really wanted her to see it. She could hear the commotion upstairs but didn’t care, sitting calmly, combing her hair into a ponytail and reading into the specifics of the “virus”.

The house wasn’t big but the walls and furniture were in light colors, making it almost impossible to disguise. So she didn’t even raise her head when there was a rush movement at the top of the stairs and then hushed cursing from Clint. Three agents came downstairs and when they were about ten feet from her, Bobbi finally said:

“You lot owe me an explanation.” She didn’t look at them, too busy with the file.

Bucky muttered “I told you so” and asked Daisy to call Fury. Girl passed the mobile to Bobbi and she finally looked up taking the device. They stood there with guns, hair ruffled from sleep and eyes  sleepy but focused. Daisy looked a bit pissed off but she couldn’t really be blamed, Barnes seemed to be a bit embarrassed and there was Clint looking straight at her, daring her to run. Because he would. And she would too but she really tried to approach the situation calmly. For now.

“Fury. What’s going on?” Nick was pissed. She doubted she woke him up, He was probably in the middle of some super secret, not exactly approved by public opinion, op. Tough luck.

“It’s Mockingbird. When were you planning on telling that A.I.M. wants to take me in, again?” she didn’t beat around the bush, lost patience the second she bumped into that woman on the market.

“When I’d find it suitable”

“I was approached by someone from A.I.M. yesterday, Nick. They want me in, badly, and that hard drive you told Bucky and Daisy to steal? It’s meant for me”

“Knew that, Morse. Just needed the why. Romanoff has been working on the mark for a week now, we’re not sure if A.I.M. wants you or just to brainwash you” he sounded unfazed by the possibilities and it made her angrier.

“It’s not a “just”. I’ll be back in DC in few days.”

“I’ll meet you there, happy?”

“Not even close” Bobbi hung up and handed phone back to its owner.

She stood up and gave them an expecting look. She didn’t even know what she wanted to hear or if there was anything at all to be said. She was mad and wanted to know the rest of the stuff they were hiding. And if they felt uncomfortable after lying to her like Barnes, that’s their own damn fault.

When the silence tired her she started talking herself. “You know, the super soldier serum has improved my hearing so when I’m actually conscious like… I wake up in the middle of the night I can clearly hear you people talking downstairs. Now, I wouldn’t listen, it’s rude but then you were talking about me. That spiked up one’s curiosity, don’t you think?”

“Quit the mind games Bobbi. We get it. You heard us. What do you want? If it’s an apology, you’re not getting it, we knew what we were doing.” Daisy Johnson, Bobbi’s respect for her grew even more.

 “Not an apology. I want to know what the hell is going on here.” Daisy and Bucky looked at each other and finally Barnes got a hold of himself and started talking:

“Fury told us to spy on some guy who was associated with A.I.M. something about new prototypes of weapons for terrorists. Then he called us that the guy has a hard drive with all the files. So we stole it. Hill gave Clint and Nat the same information but she didn’t tell them who the guy was working for. Nat is interrogating him, has been for a week now, and we know that the things here are authentic and today he slipped that some woman, whose name he didn’t know, was looking for a bird.”

Bobbi looked at them with wide eyes. Seriously? “that top secret of yours isn’t a bloody secret. A.I.M. has been sending me messages and yesterday some woman approached me with work proposition. Are you freaking joking, tell me the rest of it” Bobbi was getting mad again. There had to be more if they still were trying to hide something.

“Clint?” she turned to him, practically burning him with her look. He didn’t even flinch meeting her eye to eye. He had to know more.

“Monica Rappaccini wants you. What else do you need to know?” he asked quietly. She made a step towards him watching his movements. They weren’t exactly close now but they were so focused there could be as well no space between them.

“This whole mission is about A.I.M. and me?” his face remained calm, he didn’t fidget, he made a step in her direction, slow but sure. “Yes.”

She chose to trust him on this. One question left.

“Did you think I would join them? Or were you protecting me?”  Her voice  was low and demanding, Bobbi knew the answer. It wasn’t difficult; predictable even, she moved even closer to him, never loosing the eye contact, waiting.

“First one.” His voice was so damn quiet Bobbi wasn’t sure if the rest could hear it.

“And now?”

“Mockingbird  I can see wants  progress not terror and that’s what A.I.M. is about now.” And that was it. The answer she wanted and somehow never considered. She could feel his hand on her wrists when he added one more thing “These are only your choices Bobbi. Just don’t get yourself killed. You’ve done that too many times already.”

She gave him a nod and turned to Daisy and Barnes who were watching the conversation.

“One more suspect we have is bartender in that bar where you seduced the mark.” said Daisy “It’s only an assumption, we were planning on watching him for a while before we send someone to talk to him. We also have no idea why the hard drive was in Hawaii, I mean, our location is your idea Morse, we got an assignment after we got here.” She looked really confused so Bobbi decided to save her some trouble.

“It’s a bait. I was meant to see it. Clever way to say they need me.”  Bobbi sat down at the table and started arranging her flight to DC. “I’m going to talk to the bartender tomorrow night and then come back home. I need to go the therapist if I’m going to meet that bitch again. “ with that she closed the files, handed Bucky the hard drive and went upstairs to get some sleep sincerely wishing her mind would spare her nightmares.

She could hear them talking something about coming back too and reporting to Fury before she drifted off.

Bobbi was aware that here dreams were her subconsciousness throwing her memories at her. Which gave the effect of a chaos of overlapping events coming back to her. The events connected to Monica Rappaccini and Clint. She saw him getting crushed by the ruins of the building. If not dead then buried alive. She heard a loud scream coming from her own throat as she watched the ruins with her partner there. Then the bomb. She knew there was a bomb but where… in her dream she could see Monica laughing… There was a giant diamond and she knew she created it.  Not alone though.  That woman said he’s dead. That Bobbi was free to go, join them now that she would finally belong somewhere… because she didn’t fit in anywhere else. Clint was dead…

Bobbi woke up crying but that wasn’t anything out of ordinary lately. She was covered with sweat and her sheets landed on the floor. She breathed slowly trying to calm herself. Clint was alive. He didn’t die. But he was there with her. One more breath. But could she trust her dreams? It was late, almost three o’clock, he was most likely sleeping.

She got up anyway leaving the room quietly as if she was a child sneaking around. Barton’s room was on the other end of the hall. She wandered how to come closer to him without him throwing something at her. With his aim she’ll end up dead and that was something he forbid her.

Getting closer as quietly as she could, she managed to stand at the side of his bed and said his name. The effect was immediate. He sat up, ready to fight but she got into his vision quickly, in the same time holding him down. “Bobbi? What are you doing in my bed?” he cringed a bit at that question, she doubted it sounded right  in his head.

“Next to your bed, sport” She smirked at him. She was mad but she wanted answers more. She hopped onto his bed and continued “I had a dream. With you, Rappaccini and a giant diamond. Sounds surreal but I was kidnapped by little green men so nothing is too weird anymore. Anyway, you kind of died. But here we are. So what’s up with that story and what Monica wanted? Because I know who she was and that she’s desperate to recruit me but I never wondered how do I know that.” She smiled at him trying to catch up with whatever she was saying which ended up with him staring at her. Something she tried to avoid herself because he was handsome, there was no denying that, and he slept shirtless because it was awfully hot. She kept her eyes on his face. And if her eyes flickered to his lips few times no one could blame her. Besides she wasn’t going to do anything.

“Monica was…” he cleared his voice still a bit hoarse from sleep “she arranged the biological bomb that was to explode on some scientists’ gathering. You and I, we went there to stop A.I.M. and save those people, turned out there were no scientists but she blew something up and practically buried me. But I fell to the sewers which saved my life. And from what you told me later Rappaccini wanted scientists but saw you. Told you lots of shit about not belonging anywhere and being someone you were meant to be with A.I.M. then you kicked her ass because you knew better than that. And apparently she talked too much. Then we needed to stop the bomb so we did some science magic and turned it into a diamond because that’s what we do” he smiled at her drowsily. Bobbi wanted to touch him. Instead she laughed quietly.

“Science magic? Really?”

“It’s almost  four don’t expect anything more from me, we did a thing. We always do something and usually it’s awesome” he was mumbling and she realized she was smiling at him.

“okay, thanks, I’ll go now” she was trying to get up but he pulled her back with his arm around her waist forcing her to lie down next to him.

“not going anywhere” she could barely understand him and tried to move away. “let me go”

“you came here in the first place. Sleep.” Still mumbling but more understandable this time. She looked at him like he lost his mind while he just smiled and closed his eyes. She could easily go. He wouldn’t stop her once he’s asleep. It was only one night though… She stayed.

Bobbi closed her eyes and tried to sleep. After few minutes she felt his mouth on hers kissing her passionately, stealing her breath away. She was surprised but returned the kiss anyway, nipping at his lips and letting herself feel him. It was incredible and she wanted it.  His breaths were short and she could feel every one of them. that and the overwhelming heat all around her. Her eyes opened as they parted and she saw his love written on his face that and lust. She wanted it all. He looked younger… He kissed her cheeks barely touching then down her neck, his lips pressing harder, his breath on her skin making her breathe harder, his lips hot on her skin. Bobbi felt his  hands on her body, roaming in almost possessive way, touching down her arms and to her tighs stroking, her own grasping his hair, keeping him closer  to  her. “I love you so much” he whispered into her ear his lips so close she could feel those words rather than hear it which made her moan quietly “I love you” she said breathily, moving one of her hands down his back, pulling off his boxers when Clint looked at her again and and said this time against her lips “I can’t lose you again” and locked their lips and their bodies together kissing her harder, silencing their gasps...

Bobbi woke up startled trying to determinate where she was and what was real. She was panting quietly just like she was after all her nightmares. She looked around and found Clint sleeping soundly behind her. They were spooning because of the lack of space. Clothed. Same as her. She tried to bit back a groan. Really? She had to have this dream and in his bed? From all she knew it could also be a memory, they married after all but really? Now?

She carefully lifted his arm and got up. Thankfully he didn’t woke up so she left the room going to the kitchen to get some coffee or something, anything really, that would take her mind off him.  

She kept up her normal routine. Jogging with Daisy, drinking some shake and talking to the rest of the ream to find out as much as she could about the suspect. Clint looked at her a bit differently but she didn’t have time for this. She planned her approach in the living room thinking about the best cover story when he sat down next to her.

“Barnes and Johnson are securing the area?” she asked not looking up from her notes.

“Yeah, they’ve just left. Listen, I… um… it might sound really stupid but did you come to me to talk about Monica yesterday?” he looked really embarrassed, poor man. And he wanted to ask about her sleeping with him. She knew he did.

“It was today, sport. And yes I did” she smiled at him and got back to her notes.

“Do you need a back up with this guy?”

Bobbi thought for a while. Normally she would say no, but last time she went alone she got stabbed. “sure, wanna be one?”

“With pleasure”

Third time in this bar. She really liked it there. This time she didn’t wear a dress, if there was a fight in sight she needed to be able to move comfortably. So, shorts. Good enough for her purpose and she could still kick ass.

Bobbi walked to the bar and waited patiently till the bartender got to her. “What’s for you, beautiful?” He was cute, wasn’t he? She ordered and whenever he got a while she talked to him, charming into spending an evening with her. She wasn’t begging, more like luring him in. Like a mermaid in old tales. He didn’t stand a chance. Probably hoping for a one nightstand but that wasn’t her problem even if she _was_ turned on from her bloody memories.

When all the clients left the sat next to each other on the beach, Bobbi told him she was a biochemist and he that he used to be an artist but it was no way to live off. She smiled and moved closer to him looking for any kind of weapons but found none. He didn’t even have a phone. No traces on him indicating that he had ever worn that damn uniform and she would knew, she had imprints on her neck from that “helmet” for weeks. She played with his hands as he talked some  nothings and didn’t ask about anything. Nothing about her work, traumatizing experiences. He wasn’t A.I.M..

She had a tiny digital camera hidden in her necklace so Bucky could check this guy out for sure. Once he told her that this guy was clear enough not to work for terrorists, being big patriot and all, she stopped playing and tried to excuse herself. Try being the key word.

Mr Big Patriot tackled her on the ground. “you think you can just leave like this?”

“Actually I think I can.” She kicked him off her disgusted. Why her marks had to be rape-y creeps. He made a go at her again  this time a bit more successful as he managed to keep her on the ground for about a minute  ripping off her shirt and bra while he kept her in place with his knee pressed into her stomach. she was furious and could feel panic in the back of her head. Not again. She could feel that he was more than ready and wanted to vomit.  Panic taking over, she fought yes but she was too blocked by fear. Clint had to be on his way. Right? She was so afraid she was alone again. She couldn’t  do it. She felt little sting on her stomach and certain he wants to drug her so she used all his strength on him. Pushed him off. She stood up and kicked him with all her strength until he was spitting blood, she hated him. He kicked him in his stomach hard enough he was pushed away just enough for Clint to send and arrow through his shoulder.

Bobbi looked around but she couldn’t see the syringe  so she tried to calm herself thinking it was just a paranoia. She was drugged and raped once. Never again. Not that was just her imagination. She breathed hard trying to compose herself but she felt like she was going to hyperventilate.

She could see Clint coming to her, horror on his face. “he’s clear, son of a bitch” she spitted out and saw him kneeling in front of her, pulling out his hand, offering. She hugged him closely and he could hear her muffled tone “we need to talk” and he had a vague idea what she wanted to talk about…


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> read the Phantom Rider arc yourself. or go to my other fic "second chances" in notes I explained the story, I'm too lazy to do it again.  
> also... I didn't planned neither what Bobbi's new assigment would be nor that she would go to that bar.  
> oops ; )

Bobbi was sitting on the couch in her living room in her apartment in New York. Leaned forward, her face in her hands. There was a bottle of wine on her coffee table next to the untouched glass full of the red liquid. Next to these was a sheet of paper with few words visible rest of it scratched. The pen had fallen on the floor and her mobile was on the other side  of the room, thrown in anger.

Bobbi didn’t cry. She had shed enough tears for a lifetime. Nick was going to come over soon. She needed to pull herself together. Or she didn’t. Whatever. Nick needed reassurance she wasn’t going to leave with A.I.M. He’ll get this, son of a bitch. The rest of her life belonged to her. She’ll be damned if Clint is thrown into it again.

There was only one little problem. She cares for him. More than she should. Somehow in the bloody corner of her mind there was an affection for him which started when she spent some time with him alone. It had been a mistake interacting with him because now she developed feelings for him and it made her disgust even stronger. How could she love him after what he did to her? And he told her. Everything. She felt sick because she got glimpses. Little bits and not the whole story. It was unreasonable to be mad now, yes. She couldn’t really help it though. If she hadn’t spent so much time with him it would have been so much easier.

She visited her therapist today. Got cleared for duty since “the other” Bobbi has blended in enough to be her and the only problem were memories which weren’t horribly important during the ops. She got a tip to make a timeline of what she remembered but Bobbi spat out that she spent some time with Hawkeye and she’d rather not remember anything. Which surprised her therapist to say the least.

The problem was… apparently the Bobbi everyone knew got over it a little. And even got into a relationship with Hawkeye again. But she didn’t know why or how she felt and that was the problem. This needed to end. She understood it now…

_They closed themselves in her bedroom after the talk with Barnes about the suspect. There wasn’t much to talk about in a first place. So here they were, in Bobbi’s bedroom in Hawaii, sitting in silence on the opposite ends of her bed waiting for the conversation Clint feared the most._

_“When did it happen to me?”_

_She could see him swallowing hard, getting ready. He was so tense she was actually afraid of what it meant to her. Of course there were facts that she knew. She was drugged. That was for sure because she remembered being violated but not the struggle. She couldn’t have laid there praying to end. She would have fought. Right? “When?”_

_Clint took a long breath and looked actually scared when he finally talked:_

_“West Coast Avengers. There was that guy… Phantom Rider. We went back in time and we came across him. He thought you were a  goddess and was really affected by you. You were flattered, a bit freaked out maybe but none of us was worried… But then when we were transporting back to our time he grabbed you and we teleported without you… Now Bobbi… I don’t know what exactly happened” his eyes were getting wet as he tried to find the  right words “He drugged you. Made you forget your life with the team. With me. He made you believe he was the love of your life… he used you. But my friend bumped into you there. Helped you remember. After… “ he silenced for a moment not wanting to continue. But he couldn’t, she deserved to know what he had done._

_Bobbi looked at him emotionless, she knew that already. But there was more, wasn’t there? Had to be, the more she tried to access that memory she felt a lot of pain and from a different reason._

_“When the drug has worn off you were furious. You went to the cliffside and that guy was there. Phantom Rider. You were fighting and at some point he was hanging from the cliff asking you for help. And… you let him die Bobbi…” that was a surprise for her but she would do that. “we reunited. And you told he committed suicide. Don’t get me wrong, you shouldn’t have lied to me but it’s past for me. The worst thing was that I found out from the ghost of Phantom Rider. He told me you murdered him with cold blood. And I believed him. And Avengers didn’t kill… I didn’t understand. I didn’t want to understand you… We were fighting. I was so mad at you and it hurt you. Because I should have, as your husband, supported you. I didn’t. That was the reason of our divorce. We forgave each other but um… turned out  it wasn’t you who forgave but the imposter…”  he silenced and Bobbi could hear their heartbeats in the silence of the room. He was so scared of her reaction it would be ridiculous. Except he was right to be afraid._

_First she thought she didn’t understand what he was saying. Then was the shock. Anger. Disgust. Betrayal._

_“I was hurt.” She started slowly looking at the spot above his shoulder, her eyes somehow lost. “but you cared more about that bastard” she silenced for a moment and she could see Clint’s mind working trying to find some words to explain himself but to be honest she doubted that it would help. Probably would make her even angrier.”Not about your wife. Someone you were supposed to care about at the very least and you couldn’t give her support she needed” talking in the third person about herself probably wasn’t the best idea but she wasn’t sure she wanted to accept it happened to her._

_He looked a bit defensive for a second but let her talk anyway._

_“Killing him was optional but I’m sure as hell not regretting that! That’s who I am, that’s whom you married and then what you fucking handed me divorce papers?!” she was yelling, Bucky and Daisy must have heard every word._

_“You did that yourself.” He snarked trying to stay calm. Trying._

_“Damn right, oh my god, how come I was so freaking stupid to forgive you later anyway?!” she was yelling and Clint lost his temper._

_“BECAUSE WE LOVE EACH OTHER. THAT’S WHY.” His eyes held such anger as if he hated her. She knew he didn’t. So she stood there glaring and trying to get everything in order in her head._

_After few minutes he started again, quieter this time: “You died. And I lost everything. You were my everything. Then Wanda went crazy and killed me. When I was alive again… I was so mad I wanted to kill her for what she did to me” he said that to her already… Before that mess with biological bomb… “I understood then Bobbi. I have never asked for your forgiveness and I won’t now. I don’t deserve it for what I did then. But if you chose to be with me then don’t you dare call yourself stupid, you are anything but that.”_

_Another silence was much longer. Clint was watching her and she just couldn’t do that. She got up and took the luggage she prepared an evening before. Standing in the door, she turned her head and said:_

_“you know I tried to find a reason why we got divorced.. I couldn’t imagine what could have parted us ever. Now I know and handing in those papers was probably the  smartest thing I did in my life.”_

_She didn’t bother to look at his face. Just left._

Back in her apartment Bobbi tried to compose herself when the knock has brought her back to reality. She got up and unlocked the door already knowing who was there. Nick Fury himself.

“Glad you could make it Nick” she grinned from the couch. It turned out a little tense but he knew she was far from okay. Fury glared at her for a moment and came to stand practically over her. What an asshole.

“Right, because you left me a choice, right Morse?”

“It’s about me anyway. Last person who wasn’t entirely honest with me was Andrew, you knew how that ended up.”

“You’re proud of it?”

“He deserved it.”

He kept glaring at her and it was hilarious because she didn’t react in any way at this. Finally he  sat in front of her in the chair and waited. She wanted information but what exactly.

“I want to know what that prisoner has said so far. I think A.I.M. wants to brainwash me if I don’t cooperate and we don’t want that.”  She was calm and to be honest?  It was unnerving to Fury.

“That virus you’re thinking about is not finished. They need you to finish it” he said. Bobbi looked at him disappointed. “Nick they have at least one biochemist that could manage that. Her name is Monica Rappaccini. Rings any bells?”

“Terrorist. A.I.M. …”

“And a biochemist who really wants me there. Come to think of it, they’re a bit obsessed but last time I went there from my own free will, they brainwashed me, I don’t want it to happen again. Ever.”

Nick didn’t say  a word so she continued. “I’ll help you get her. Last time she wanted to recruit me, she almost  blew up Haw… my partner. So I need her down. Tell me what the prisoner said.”

Fury glared at her again, he did that a lot around her. But he owed her so she didn’t worry about his facial expressions too much. He could as well be faking it. So she waited.

“He’s a mercenary. A.I.M. hired him to spy on you, he wasn’t on our radar, he knew though that someone was sent to take him down. Barton and Romanoff. He actually thought he was being attacked by A.I.M. when he threatened to kill you. They would let him go if it would save your life. Those people really want you kid, I’m sure glad you’re not under Hill anymore because in extreme situation she would trade you off for something important”

Bobbi just raised her eyebrows. Maria was resourceful but it was a bit too much, wasn’t it. “These are the times we live in, Morse. Don’t look surprised”

Bobbi chewed on her lip for a moment, she needed to do something because she would go crazy but running in to stop the organization alone wasn’t the best idea…

“I’m cleared for duty” she said probably unnecessarily. Nick knew everything. Always. Still, no reaction from him. “Nick, I need  a job. I can’t sit here and read postcards from Monica inviting me to join their merry evil circle.”

He just rolled his eyes at her. They were alike in some sense. “You want to train new people?” She looked at him blankly for a full minute before she got her voice back.

“You are serious.” She finally said.

“What can I say, no sudden emergency. I could send you spying after some minor criminals but currently we need a trainer more. A month? Until I can find  you an assignment”

Bobbi wanted to protest but she had said that herself earlier. She needed something to do. “Deal, but you owe me a good job after this”

“Deal”He left without any other word and Bobbi stared at her bottle of wine for a little longer until she decided she needed to get the hell out of her house. She put on her coat and walked towards the closest bar she could find. She didn’t want to get drunk just be surrounded by white noise of people talking.

The bar itself was a good place to stop by. She used to go here with Logan sometimes. And the rest of New Avengers. She smiled. The time with them was a bit blurry as well but she felt right in there. Like she belonged. And then bloody Superia happened nearly killing her. And super soldier serum. Bobbi tried not to think about all the consequences of having this stuff in her bloodstream. But she was good here and then, in a familiar place.

“Bad day?”

Her head snapped up to see a  bartender smiling at her. Bobbi returned the smile “You could say that”.

He was handsome, looked like he was in his late twenties. And what’s more important he didn’t have a thing in common with Clint which made her immediately relaxed. His hair was dark, black even and his eyes shone with confidence and compassion. Green, they were beautiful. Okay, so she might be staring, she had a bad day after all.

“So you’re here to talk about it or just brood in silence” he kept smiling and she relaxed a little. Truth be told she wanted to brood. Well, plans changed.

“Right now? Neither. I’m Bobbi” she didn’t extended her hand but her smile became a bit more honest.

“Richard. So, can I buy lady a drink?”

“Sure”

“What’s your poison?”

“Surprise me”

She stayed in that bar for about three hours all this time talking to Richard while he wasn’t too busy  with other clients. There weren’t many people though those who came here to get wasted had done it already and left. Which left her sitting in nearly empty bar talking to her new friend and feeling a little light-headed from all the laughing. He had sarcastic sense of humor, not-exactly matching hers but they still managed to make it work.

At some point she needed to get back, training SHIELD recruits meant early mornings. So she got up and was going to leave when he stopped her.

“Hey, do you have any plans for tomorrow evening?” uh uh. She knew that kind of questions and was going to lie that she had in fact, with her boyfriend or some other crap but then she remembered the promise she made to herself back in the apartment. Forget. Move on.

“Not, really? Do you?” she had to give it to him he looked confident but not overly so and she could see a glimmer of hope in his eyes.

“Not yet. But I could use some company, are you interested?”

“And here I thought you’d invite me for dinner” she shouldn’t tease him but couldn’t really help herself. She was too comfortable to think about these things.

“You don’t look like someone who goes on dinner dates”

“You’d be surprised” She said making two steps in the direction of the door before looking at him again.

He seemed to be panicked for a second and she tried really hard not to laugh.

“Okay, how about that, would you like to spend an evening with me, Bobbi?”

His smile turned a bit shy and he still looked at her expectantly so she took mercy on him “Yes, see you tomorrow” Bobbi waved him a little and left disappearing in the crowd. She didn’t expected that but maybe it was exactly what she needed. New company.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so... this is the last chapter before hiatus which will last at least three weeks :D  
> Update: Since this actually has a plot hiatus is going to be hell-ishly long because I have exams. sorry

Bobbi Morse joined SHILED Academy because she wanted to. She was smart and interested in being a spy. And she liked the Academy, she really did, only now walking in the halls felt like it was a lifetime ago. Still she had work to do, truth be told, she had no idea how to do this, she was not a teacher type and her methods were not always approved but she had an opinion that whatever gets you out alive is good.

She talked to the director of the Academy, who has been changed since her training, some woman in her thirties, seemed really bored. Shame, when she was there the director was actually deeply engaged in whatever was happening and definitely never bored. Anyway she found she was going to teach some classes martial arts and undercover work. She asked why martial arts since there already were few trainers to that and was told that she would be the one to “show them they don’t know a thing”. Great. Basically she was going to bring them all down and re-teach them some moves so they’re not pretty but efficient. Of course she knew that these teaching here are good she learnt from them herself but in the actual fight… She knew that sometimes some dirty moves could work miracles. And she was a survivor.

She couldn’t really tell the trainees that she was Mockingbird. So she was Agent 19 again. Barbara. She fucking hated her name. Andrew called her that. But no one would connect the dots and she wasn’t as well known as Sharon Carter. Agent 13. She knew that Sharon was a soldier and died sacrificing herself for the case. Or so she had heard. God knows Bobbi was thought dead these days as well.

And yet here she was in a gym, with about thirty recruits looking at her curiously. Some looked like they enrolled here straight from high school and some after college. Anyway she stood there watching their faces and wondering how the hell she could approach the situation.

Best to start the simplest way.

“I’m Agent 19. I’m here for some time only to show you what is it like to fight in the field. I’m sure your trainers had done a great work, I’m going to show you that you need to be more.”

Someone snorted and frankly? She expected that, what’s more she anticipated it. Now she could give them proper Mockingbird introduction. “Boy in the back, tall, smirking one. Yes, you, come here. Now.”

The boy in question, who wasn’t really a boy, must have been 24 or so came to her and stood looking down. Okay he was higher than her and must have made an impression on the rest of the group. They were curious what would happen, wanted a show. And a show she would give them.

“Let me guess, best in your group?” she asked smirking up a little. She kind of hoped for a challenge. She would end up on top because she didn’t acknowledge rules but beside that… 

The guy nodded shortly. “Good. Then we can start. Spar with me. The rest of you, watch”

The guy watched her cautiously trying to decide about the attack. After few seconds he made a slight dodge to the left but she waited half the beat to see more and when he made the frontal attack she simply dodged his punch. At least he wasn’t holding back. They continued their dance for a longer while and he actually managed to punch her in the stomach making her fall on the ground, laying on her back and faking a cough. She wanted to see what he would do with her, He came closer ready to either continue attack or give up. “Had enough there. lady?”

Okay so she was going to flick him on his back if he would be too close. Or bite him if he was stupid enough to use his hands. But now? She jumped on her feet giving herself just enough force to go straight for his neck. She didn’t strangle him, she punched him taking his breath away then locked him in secure position. “Agent, and I’m not above trashing your windpipe so you’d be seriously damaged right now, so what’s your name _boy_?”

Really she wasn’t above teasing trainees. Sometimes she felt like a Hawkeye herself. “Lucas, m’ am” And the tone was different she tried not to grin too widely. Failed. Finally she got up.

“Your technique is good. Really good” she offered still grinning.

“apparently not enough” he grumbled pulling himself up.

She ignored him. At least she knew how to start and she had their full attention. “Okay first of all I want you to spar in pairs,  I’ll be walking among you and giving you advice on more effective attack. Then we’ll got to fight with more than one person. Have you done that so far?”

“Two people.” The girl in the front said.

“We’ll make it like this: four of you: attack, two: defense. Rest of you, watching. Then the switch. But first. Spar in pairs.”

Bobbi walked among them and wasn’t sure what she expected. Most of them was holding back so she yelled at them that when she was in Academy walking around with a black eye was a normal thing. It wasn’t but she hated tiptoeing. Some of them though were fighting like her. Not the technique or tricks but… it was intense.

She stopped in front of Lucas and the girl he was fighting with. The two of them were the most aggressive but they were also good enough not to land any blow though Bobbi knew that with any other person here they would beat  the shit out of that someone. So she had her pair for the defense. The first one was the most important, whoever would be after them would have to keep up.

By the end of the class which lasted about four hours Bobbi wondered if she was going to be allowed to  keep the job. People were exhausted and some of them had black eyes and swollen faces. Nothing broken though. Anyway everyone was cursing by the time she told them that the next class won’t be that easy and left with grimaces on their faces. She might have lied. She had no idea what they would do next but she had to see what skills they’ve already had.

She would worry about it later. She had a date.

She had no idea where they were going simply because she never asked. So she dressed in her jeans and sweater. She wasn’t all dolled up in the bar either so he shouldn’t expect anything from her. The idea was they would meet in the bar where he worked and then he would take her somewhere, good enough.

So here she was walking into the bar hoping he would be on time. She hated tardiness and didn’t want to be disappointed with him. He looked like he was a nice guy. So she sat by the bar in full sight from the door and waited.

“Bobbi” she turned her head and smiled at the picture he made. A bit messy hair, cheeks flushed from cold and that smile that made her agree to this in the first place.

“Hey, yourself. So, where are we going?”

“I have a friends who is playing in some nice place  two blocks away. It’s a café I think, they opened it today. Interested?” he was talking a bit too quickly showing that he was a bit nervous. Okay, she shouldn’t like it this much.

“Let’s go”

They left the building and made their way to the place Richard had in mind. It looked cosy. There was a piano at the front  playing something Bobbi didn’t immediately recognize and her date excused himself to go to the pianist after walking her to their table. Bobbi wasn’t exactly pleased that he left her but was busy looking around. Call it paranoia, she preferred “habit”. Place looked clean. And no evil organization in sight. Good.

“Hey, sorry, hadn’t had a chance to speak to him earlier and had to cancel today’s meeting” he actually looked embarrassed but to his credit he wasn’t gone long.

“Yeah, alright, let’s say I believe you”

“Hard time trusting?” he grinned at her, he wasn’t expecting an answer.

“Trust is earned. You’d have to be patient to get mine” she might have looked into his eyes a bit too long. She was daring him but most of all he had pretty eyes. And mouth.  She wanted to laugh at herself for behaving like that.

“Well then, I can’t wait to start”.

Somewhere she heard that if you look into someone’s eyes more than four seconds then you either wanted to murder them or sleep with them. Christ. “So, you’ve seen me being a bartender and I hope you know that I’m the best by now” arrogant bastard “what do you do with your days?”

“I teach martial arts”

“Of course, I can make a drink and you can kickass, that’s fair” he teased and she found herself relaxing.

 “Well, I need to know how to protect myself”

“I don’t doubt that”

The waitress came in to them and they ordered their coffee when Bobbi admitted that she was a bit of a coffee junkie but she blamed her university time for that. Turned out so was he but he picked it up after working two shifts, one in a bar and the second one  helping to train the junior volleyball team.

“Two shifts and one with kids? Must be exhausting”

“I like them though. I’m not sure I could give either of them up.” He smiled at her and Bobbi could swear this man had hundred different smiles. And she was impressed. Her work was obviously  more exhausting but she wouldn’t give it up for anything. His were… normal and he seemed to enjoy his life while she saw many who despised working.

“I didn’t plan on teaching” she said “A friend of mine needed help and since I know a thing or two, I agreed. Normally I’m busy with my data in the lab” it wasn’t a lie. She did come to the lab sometimes to verify something.

“Scientist who knows martial arts?” he was kidding, he was sweet but she was more than that. He just didn’t have to know that.

“Bobbi” she corrected sipping her coffee. He blinked not understanding but seemed to get over it almost immediately chattering about something else.

They sat there for a while, finishing their drinks and talking about stupid things. Trivial ones really. Bobbi used to hate these with anyone else but now she didn’t really mind, maybe that’s what her brain needed. A little bit of normal. So when they finished their coffee, she asked if he would like to come to her place. He made some crack about only the kiss in the first date and it was nice teasing but she somehow sensed that he meant that. Good. She kind of wanted him but after the revelation from Hawaii she didn’t want these kind of adventures with someone she barely knew. She would get over it. But not yet.

He came upstairs with her and kept his distance which she appreciated. She went to the kitchen to pour the some wine and when she came back she noticed he was standing in front of her closet keeping a picture in his hand. She froze, she was almost sure she had hidden every picture of the Avengers in costume. Almost. And he seemed fascinated by it.

“Have something interesting there?”

He looked up quickly. “sorry, I didn’t want to be nosy but it was laying here and certain blonde caught my eye” he winked at her and she laughed charmingly coming closer and seeing the picture of her and Hawkeye. Hugging. Damn why didn’t she notice it earlier.

“Your friend?”

“My ex. We’re not exactly on speaking terms so I wouldn’t call him a friend” he looked at her for a moment and she got irritated a little “What  do you want to know what happened?” she snapped and she probably shouldn’t have. But well, sensitive subject.

He turned so he was standing eye to eye with her. Well, almost he still was a bit taller. “Only if you want to talk about it” his expression was serious and he did look at her from above. She felt his hand brushing hers lightly.

“I don’t” he took her hand for a second to squeeze it and took it away before she could respond in any kind. Instead he stepped back a little and they talked about movies since she had a collection. Truth be told, she had no idea why she possessed this many movies, stupid brain, so she said the truth that she didn’t even remembered buying most of them.

He chose some comedy and sat next to her on her couch. She could get used to that. And she had to give him that, he didn’t even touch her, well much, they were bound to touch on her couch which was pretty small. When she decorated the flat she thought about living on her own. So there was that but he didn’t  try to hug her or suggestively show his physical interest in her. To be honest, by the end of the movie she was frustrated because they constantly touched even more as they laughed at the story and he was attractive. And it’s not like she had something against sex on the first date. But she wanted to do it slowly. With Hawk they apparently got married almost immediately. And she didn’t want to spook him either. Even though he was interested. She could see that.

So when he decided to leave she didn’t stop him. She walked him to the hall and when they were saying goodbyes she kissed his cheek. That was enough for now. And she liked him, that’s what she needed, a nice guy with a sense of humor and good manners who wasn’t walking disaster and actually had a decent life.

From that night it went pretty quickly, they were on two more dates before she decided that she had enough and kissed him senseless. Later they laughed because he said he wasn’t sure when was the time and she did martial arts, he was protecting himself. She rolled his eyes and said that she gives warnings before she gives bruises.  Teaching at the Academy started to actually satisfy her and Bobbi felt some sort of happiness. She wasn’t sure how long she would have that thing with Richard since being a superhero with evil scientists looking for you wasn’t exactly good for relationships but she really hoped it was permanent at least for a while. She managed to met up with Natasha twice and she was as happy as Bobbi for her new boyfriend. Bobbi got a warning of course but she knew what she was doing. And right now, after all these crap months, it was actually time she felt happy. Training or mission, Richard. Repeat. She wished it could stay like this forever.

Well it lasted about two months.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Believe me when I tell I have a plan for this.

As promised Fury started giving her assignments but they were easy enough that she could still teach at the Academy to kill time. It took him another month to actually find her something interesting. So when he turned up with a ticket to some glamorous party so she could take a look around, she jumped at the opportunity. He warned her that whatever life she has built for herself had to be put on hold because that mission required her full attention. She was in.

First the party, Nick told her that he chose her not exactly for her terrifying enthusiasm to get into a dangerous situation again but because the party would be attended by one of the A.I.M.’s weapon buyer who was in a need of  someone who not only knew that kind of stuff but also would help him in his own experiments. Bobbi couldn’t wait. Nick warned her that if she thinks they know she’s there she was to get an extraction immediately.

She pretended to agree and he pretended he believed her. That’s how it works. No one stops her.

She also knew that getting close to A.I.M. required some preparation from her. Mainly, cut the ties which really shouldn’t have made her this sad, she had been waiting for the mission for months. Nevertheless she grew attached to Richard so what she was going to do wasn’t really easy. Bobbi wasn’t one for big gestures so she simply invited him over.  They hadn’t really slept with each other and she felt like it wasn’t fair to do it now anyway. She had nothing against it but he seemed to actually want to get to know her and she appreciated it more than could be said. Okay so she might have a little trust issues about letting  strangers in her bed. Whatever. And now? Breaking up wasn’t a good excuse for sleeping together.

He came in, smiling gently and she should do it right away. End it. Instead she let him take her to the couch and talk something about the training and his affection for the kids, she found herself responding with enthusiasm and when he kissed her she had nothing against it. His lips were as gentle as he was and she relished in it. Whatever she dreamt about her and Clint, it was always rough and fast. Passionate and playful. These men were completely different. Bobbi could feel him smiling against her mouth and she  nipped his lower lip trying to stop thinking. She felt so relaxed she almost didn’t want to part but she had to. So slowly she pulled away and said quietly “We need to talk”

He could almost see his mind working and she touched his face lightly, he took her hand though and held it steadily. She needed to start talking. “I’m leaving for a longer time, I think… I care about you Richard, I really do but I don’t know how long I will be gone and I think we should end this… I can’ tell you what it is and I don’t want any of us waiting around for the other.” Well alright that’s about as emotional as she’d get.

She could see in his expression that he understood even though didn’t agree. He squeezed her hand “Do you want me to leave now?” 

“No”

“Then I guess we can make the best of the time we have left” she was about to protest when he half tackled her on him she yelped a little, surprised but didn’t mind much.

Later that night they were laying on the said couch, Bobbi practically on Richard snuggling her face into his neck smelling his aftershave and him stroking her back and her long hair. She wondered why he didn’t protest at her words, she traced random patterns on the inside of his hand with the pad of her finger and thought about asking. She pressed a little kiss to his neck and felt him pressing her to him tighter. “Please be back”

That’s why.

Bobbi pulled up a little to look at him. “Richard… I was serious. This needs to end. And I don’t want you waiting around till I come back. I want you to go and smitten some girl and be happy. Because I might not come back at all” be dead and all that fun, couldn’t say that though.

“What if I don’t want it? Maybe, just maybe I have nothing against a little waiting because I want you this much” there was finally anger in his eyes as it should have been in the first place.

“what part of ‘I might not be back at all’ didn’t you understand? It could be months it could be years it could be never?” she got up from him and stood up pacing around.

“Every one. I won’t ask you where are you going but clearly if you wanted to break up you would do that in an entirely different way so  don’t give me this crap about ‘not waiting’ “.

Bobbi felt anger boiling inside of her and forced herself to calm down, a little at least “Leave”

“Oh, so that’s your answer?” he had the right to be mad or that’s what she told herself.

“This conversation serves no purpose, nothing will change my mind and I don’t want to say something I’ll regret do please, leave.”

He threw her a look, then smiled sadly and left murmuring “goodbye” under his breath. Ah, hell. Head in the game, Bobbi locked the door and came back to the couch. She pulled out all of her mission plans. She had pretty direct orders but she had to know more to be effective.

She studied the floors carefully, then the specifics of these weapons so she could engage in conversation as an expert and not only messenger. Fury mumbled something and literally _mumbled_ about sending someone with her to the party  as  a backup but she snapped that it was just a freaking party and she needed to be alone to get down to business. If he wanted there might be a sniper outside but that’s it. She wasn’t exactly crazy to be working alone but she couldn’t have an escort. So a sniper or nothing.  Fury looked like he was ready to murder her. Oh well, not the first time.

Anyway the fancy gathering was taking place in a glamorous hotel. one which she thankfully got to know a little better few years back. Long story. Sneaking around and drinking tequila shots with Nat. So all she needed was the basic idea on these weapons. Chemical stuff, nasty and mostly the instructions to be bought rather than the actual thing. Still, deadly. And nasty.

The next day she didn’t show up at the Academy. She did that sometimes, the recruits never complained. Lazy people. Instead she got busy taking care of her equipment. She couldn’t have a backup but she could have weapons. She attached her batons to holsters on her thighs, and managed to hid a glock in her purse. Nothing too fancy though, she wasn’t equipped by Stark anymore… But she made Nick get her camotech which made her ridiculously happy.

She disguised as one of the scientists from SHIELD.  Oh she could have taken the look of anyone from the street but there was that risk of running into that person on the mission and she wasn’t taking that.

Bobbi looked at herself in the mirrolr, smiling at the disguise. Black hair reaching her chin, dark dress, demure but not overly and most of all she was attractive. That would caught her target’s eye and as much as she was disappointed in men for being this predictable, it did make her job easier.

She walked into the building of the hotel smiling politely along the way. The whole party… banquet really was filled with important people so she stopped here and there to make small talk while trying to find her mark. She was just laughing at some really lame joke some businessman made when she felt the presence behind her. “Now, I haven’t had the pleasure to meet you lady”

Keeping the smile on her face, Bobbi turned around and stood face to face with her mark. “Rachel Stigler, I’m representing the independent research group” So she should probably get a name for this since her cover missed that completely.

“John Vendler” they shook hands and Bobbi was glad that it was about to be all business.

“Such a luck. I hoped I would meet you here, Mr Vedler. My group is interested in your company, I’m afraid the private funding just isn’t enough so I was sent here with a business offer. Are you interested?”

Vedler looked over her, of course he had, and then notice her stoic expression. “I don’t know. You look like a smart person, Miss Stigler. Should I be interested?”

He expected a coy answer. Son of a bitch thought she didn’t know what she was talking about.

“Well, Mr Vedler. I suggest you actually listening to the offer before either you or me do any judgment. Shall we proceed now?”

“There’s a conference room upstairs. If you’re ready, we can go now”

“Perfect” she let him show her the way up and into the conference room. He sat down and nodded at her so she’d do the same but Bobbi ignored him and started talking instead.

“My group is interested in buying your weapons. I’m sure you’ve realized it’s  not a research group by now.”

“Then what kind of group is it?” He was watching her attentively, wary.

“We are not the federal agency. Whatever our mission is however is none of your concern. If your invention is as promising as you told then the payment will be suitable. And since we don’t wish you knew the details, my group suggested that I work under you for some time to ensure that it’s not a trick”

“So if the bunch of agents comes in ready to arrest or kill me… “

“You kill me right then, yes”

They stared at each other or glared really for a longer while until he nodded shortly. “Very well. You’re a scientist?”

“Biochemistry”

“You play dangerous game lady. Send someone in tomorrow afternoon. Your work starts at 9. You know the address.

With that he left her  and she allowed herself half smile. That was easier that she thought. Of course he didn’t trust her one bit which wasn’t part of the plan but nevertheless, she got in somehow. They talked for a little while longer and after making some final arrangements Bobbi excused herself to get back home.

They had an arrangement with Nick. She would come home and someone would be waiting there to get the confirmation. She honestly thought Nick was going to send someone she didn’t know if only not to raise the suspicions. Well, she should have known better. In the corner of her apartment sat Barnes. Glaring.

“How was Hawaii?”

“You tell me, you stormed off without an explanation”

“Whatever man, I have work here now”

“Training newbies” Bucky stopped glaring finally and cracked something that probably was a smile.

“I like my newbies, thank you” she grinned widely “And I’m going to spend the next few weeks of my life stuck in the lab with a creep connected to A.I.M.”

“So, it worked?”

“Of course it did” she snorted. “Once Monica sees my little charade she’s going to bounce with joy at having me within reach so you people better cover my ass. I don’t want to face her surrounded by enemies”

Bucky nodded in understanding. “Who’s coming in tomorrow for the plans?”

“Jessica Drew”

“Are you serious?”

“She’s going to have camotech just like you do but she has an experience with Hydra so you know… she’ll assess the danger and all that crap which you could have done yourself but unlike you she _will_ report back.” He was glaring at her. Son of a bitch.

“Yes, Barnes, please scold me for going rogue, I’m waiting” her words were sharp and he looked like he had to fight an urge to hit her with something.

“Shut up” that was the only answer. Bobbi snorted under her breath and went to the fridge so she could take two bottles of beer and tossed one to Bucky.

The drank in silence for a while lost in thoughts.

“How are you Bobbi?”

“Good”

“I’m serious” again, the glare.

“So am I.”  he opened his mouth to say something but closed it after a second. She knew what he was about to ask her and she was glad he didn’t.

“Your newbies miss you. They keep complaining about boredom. I kind of wanted to go there just to kick their asses so they would shut up.” He grinned at her. Idiot.

“How do you even know that?”

“Went to Hill, had a run in with one of the instructors murmuring aggressively that he wanted to kill Agent 19 for canceling all of his progress.”

Bobbi raised her eyebrows at him and when he cracked her a mocking smile she started laughing uncontrollably and he soon followed. “Barnes, I’m sure glad we were together in that bloody mess”

“Same here, Bobbi. Gotta go. See you around?”

“I don’t think so. He’s going to watch me. Tell people no to contact me, I’ll stay in touch by Jess, is that clear? I don’t exist anyway” Bobbi looked at him expectantly waiting for confirmation of his words instead he came to her and squeezed her arm lightly in an attempt of comfort or something like that before he left. He understood the need not to talk to her anymore from now. She had her mission. A purpose. That was something she had been waiting for.

First thing? Final preparation.

She was Rachel Stigler, a scientist. Not Bobbi fucking Morse a brilliant spy with split personality. She kind of got a hold of it, both of them blending in but there were moments when Barbara or Bobbi would shout at her. Her brain couldn’t quite catch up. She wasn’t sure who she was exactly but she did know she had a mission. And she had complete control over her body. That was just enough. So, Rachel. A scientist.

She knew where was the lab, more or less. Or the building at the very least. There someone would probably guide her. Or she hoped so. The independent group. Jess undercover as Alexandra Brown. Work hard, memorize, keep alter-egos in check, avoid Avengers. Got that.

In the morning she walked over to the right place in Manhattan. of course, Vendler liked his fortune too much to have his company anywhere else. The office in a sky-craper was impressive though. She made it to the tenth floor and was met with a bright room with a single desk in the middle and a way to the hall in the back. Bobbi came in to the desk where was a pretty brunette sitting and asked in the most professional voice she could master. “My name’s Rachel Stigler. I was told by John Vendler to show up today” The girl made an irritated face as she was offended that Bobbi dared to speak to her like that. Well, tough luck.

“Mister Vendler will come here in a second”

Bobbi nodded and stood still for a while looking around slightly until John Vendler himself had come out from the hall, smiling at her. Widely. Like a maniac. Bobbi felt an urge to cringe.

“So, miss Stigler, where is your employee?” She could see his hand twitching slightly to his right pocket. A gun. He was an awful  pretend and didn’t believe her at all. Still, she made a show of looking at her watch and told him: “Should be here in about a minute”

If it was possibly his smile turned only wider and Bobbi wondered if his mouth could stretch permanently from all the faking. Truth to her word, Jess appeared exactly on time.  She didn’t change even nearly as much as Bobbi did. Only made her face a little different and hair wavy instead of straight. Subtle. And she didn’t need more. They weren’t going to look at her a lot.

“Hi, Stigler. Heard you have something for me, oh, you must be John Vendler. I believe Rachel has made a deal with you” she was quirky and enthusiastic and smiling. Vendler looked at her with interest and then seemed to be hesitant about giving her the data.

“Who is she exactly?” that was a question for Bobbi.

“Alexandra Brown. My protégée, and a contact. That was a deal, give her the data so I could go on with my day in your lab. Unless you want her biography”

“No, but I would be appreciate her CV.” Bobbi glared at him and Jess raised her eyebrows.

“The deal included me and only me, Alex is needed in my lab, so I suggest you drop it.”  He took another incredibly long moment to think about it and Bobbi thought that with him meditating over the meaning  of life she could have kill him twice with Jess having her back. But she couldn’t. She wanted to groan with frustration.

Finally he pulled out the little disc and gave him to Jessica. He gave her a once-over but didn’t say anything else about a job offer. Bobbi wondered If he was just such a dog or did he see some potential in Jess’ cover.

‘Alexandra’ took the disc and smiled at Bobbi. “Well, I’m off then. Good luck on the job, Stigler”. She left waving like an over-enthusiastic adolescent. Bobbi snorted under her breath.

“So, Rachel, let me show you your workplace.” He guided her to the lab on the floor above. There was no one there yet but she was told that there are three more scientist in this particular lab.

Their job was basically simple. Creating some sort of serum that would extend the durability of people. Okay so maybe it was not simple. But she was a little afraid they’d make her do something to kill people on her first day. And no she got notes and soon her colleagues would come so she could work on it.

She put on a lab coat for the first time in a really long time and she shouldn’t feel like that but she wasn’t in the lab for ages. She was excited. Of course she couldn’t really start an actual job now, she needed to blend in before she would go snooping around, it would take time. And she was good at long time deep undercover operations. Always has been. She would be all right.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> timeline is a bitch.  
> So... it;s as AU after all and in my mind:  
> Kate came back.  
> Jess is present in Clint's life  
> Clint's hearing .... !@#$%^  
> well, he can hear.  
> Also  
> again on hiatus because of exams. in May.  
> Yeah sorry.  
> 

After her first day in the lab she was more exhausted than  after a mission. She wasn’t used to staying in one room for ten hours straight. And that was just the beginning. When she was at the university, she used to spend there twelve hours and  more.  
Nevertheless she got back to her house before midnight, disabled camotech and was about to crush into bed immediately and scrabble some report in the morning but she couldn’t. There was someone  in her apartment and she was going to yell at Fury for that.

“I told Barnes, no one was suppose to contact me”

Jessica Drew was sitting in her kitchen and eating pizza. “yeah, I know. But you don’t have any food in here”

Bobbi rolled her eyes and sat in front of Jess taking a slice. “Why are you here, Jess? I’m serious, you can’t contact me”

“Well, Morse, I don’t think Fury’s going to let you peek at that project you extracted but he did give permission to let you know what’s all the noise about. And Barton was worried.”

Bobbi snorted. “I’m able to go undercover, thought he’d known that.” Jessica wasn’t exactly impressed with her snark. “Yeah, he does. He was worried you’ll push yourself too hard. Hence I brought pizza. You’re welcome”

“yeah…. Thanks, Jess.”

They sat in silence and there was a little of that weird tension still lingering in there and Bobbi couldn’t really put a finger on it. Spiderwoman was calm and collected. And tense. There was nothing of that undercover quirky woman in her now and Bobbi knew that there was more life in her with Carol or  Nat. “What’s the problem between us?”

Jess’ head snapped up suddenly. “What are you talking about?”

“We used to talk. Normally. What the hell has happened?”

“What, did you get some sudden memory loss?” Jessica smirked at her and Bobbi cursed herself, she kind of figured that since Spiderwoman was with Hawkeye she would know. Goddamnit.

“Yeah. Kind of.”  That was not the answer woman was expecting. She looked like a goldfish opening her mouth and closing it few times.

“Oh my God. “ she looked so flustered Bobbi felt a little bad for her. “What happened? Okay, wait. I don’t know, and probably shouldn’t right? Man, Bobbi, sorry”

“Just tell me”

Jessica Drew looked spooked. Like she didn’t want to tell her anything but whatever problem they did have, they needed it fixed if they were going to work together. Besides It couldn’t have been so bad. “so?”

“Well, you… you and Barton broke up… and he and me… we… we kind of got together. And you know that. Um… You weren’t happy with that and …”  Jessica took a deep breath. “And you were jealous. And it screw up our relations. And it freaked me out. That you were jealous.”  By the time she finished she wasn’t looking at Bobbi only on the spot somewhere behind her.

“So I make you nervous because I was with Hawkeye.”

“You looked like you could hurt me, Bobbi” well, at least that was sincere.

“Must have been pretty possessive…”  Spiderwoman’s eyes grew slightly wider. She didn’t know that Bobbi didn’t remembered Hawkeye a lot either. “Well, newsflash. I don’t remember a thing, so I guess it’s safe to say you can forget that too.” She smiled genuinely and Jess seemed to relax finally.

“all right, I’ll tell you about the freaking project we got out.”

The project itself wasn’t anything particularly interesting. Guy had money so he put it in weapons. Of all kinds. This one was a suicidal tracking device. Which was hilarious actually because SHIELD had tracking devices but they had to add the murder part. And the fact that it undetectable. But that predictable. Jess left after a while leaving Bobbi alone.

She cleaned up the table, took a quick shower and went to bed definitely putting off writing a report. Her bed was more inviting anyway. She lied down and with the last moments of consciousness she thought she saw an arrow sketch on the building in front of her window…

She dreamt about Skrulls planet. It used to be blurred, it wasn’t anymore. She was abducted. She escaped. She was hunted. And then she became the huntress. It wasn’t exactly easy. But she did that. She was a victim then turned the tables. Became the predator.  Only in her dream… she was hunted and couldn’t fight back, something was stopping her. And she kept getting these cards that they know where she was. Come to think of it… it was similar situation as with A.I.M. at the Hawaii. Piece of paper to freak her out. Only she managed to get the hell out of A.I.M. on her own. With the Skrulls… well, almost. And why? Because of that fucking shape-shifter who changed into someone she cared about way too much. She had a suspicious who it was. But that wasn’t the point of her dream. No. She escaped. She was caught. Beaten. Driven mad. That’s what she remembered before they were all released. Pain. Searing fucking pain.  And she tried to get free.  But they were there. And they captured her after she escaped over and over again. Did she left so many times? Was it just her dream?

_You became a ghost story._

_Robbed witch._

_Is that a way to talk to your husband._

She woke up screaming. Not from fear.  She was furious. And the scream? It was rage. She got up and caught a sight of something behind her window. There was that bloody arrow sprayed on the building that she saw before she went to sleep. Not big but the size of it was enough for her to notice and she sent the lamp from her nightstand flying into the wall. The glass shattered in every direction and she wanted to destroy this place. Move the hell out. Why couldn’t they wipe her completely? She didn’t need a constant reminder of Hawkeye in her life she was so much more than that.

Bobbi didn’t want to see him, hear about him, nothing. She could take nightmares, hell she could take the Skrulls again but not this. She had  enough.

Her therapist will tell she made a regress. Bobbi snorted at that.

She took a glance at the shattered lamp and decided to clean it up after she gets back, it was morning and she had more important things to take care of than Hawkeye.  She took a cold shower, drank a coffee and put on the camo-tech. She didn’t have to try too much with her choice of wardrobe considering she was going to be stuck on her ass most of the day so she just went for jeans and a t-shirt, making her Rachel-persona wearing something more elegant but still… pants and some elegant shirt.

After arriving at the lab she became Rachel. Polite but cold. They needed to see her as completely professional. No coyness. Okay, so maybe snark wasn’t the professional attitude but she couldn’t get rid of it on long undercover. She liked her own sense of humor.

Vendler didn’t bother her. She had her place here, no need for supervision. Not that she didn’t know about the cameras everywhere in here. Her partners in the lab, the whole three of them were men.  She didn’t doubt that they were smart. They had to be. But she did doubt that any of them had idea where to start and she did. She almost did something of that kind once in college.  

Thankfully no one tried to flirt with her. She wouldn’t take that well today. But they were polite and professional. And they didn’t listen to her. She wasn’t the leader here or anything but she did know what she was doing. Their ideas were based on lose hypotheses that yet needed to be confirmed which made very weak basis and she had experiments that she knew would success and they could build up from there. It took her a  month to convince them to her ideas.

It shouldn’t have been like that. She had been in labs before. But apparently rules didn’t apply here. But nevertheless Vendler was pleased if irritated by the timing. OF course the product had lots of side effects but in the core of the idea, it worked. he got them the next assignment. Some extremely important samples. She didn’t have to ask to know these were human tissues. Most likely some individuals with power. She didn’t say a word as they promised they’d take care of that the next day.

Vendler asked if she wanted to get coffee. She did. He took her to the cafeteria where she and Richard went on their first day. God knows why he chose that he was too rich for this place anyway. But he ordered his coffee and Bobbi ordered pancakes simply because she didn’t feel creative.

“Miss Stigler, I’m impressed” he started when they orders arrived. “The serum seems to actually work and you managed to knock some sense into your co-workers” he gave a smile, less fake than usual, still fake though. Man, was he going to trust her? Ever?

“they did need a push that’s truth.” She smiled politely.

“you made it clear on our first meeting that you knew what was the real purpose of my company, is that correct?”

“Just the same as I have told was with my so called research group, mister Vendler.”  Her smile turned mischievous and his expression seemed to be a little surprised. “So is now the time you tell me that the whole thing with that serum was a test?”

“Just now, miss Stigler. Where did you noticed?”

“Halfway. One of them was dominating the other two which seemed to just be there when they were critical about my idea though I saw they knew I was completely right”

“Congratulations. So now we can talk business. Are you interested in moving up the ladder? The real work with my actual projects?”

“I am, yes. Do I get to know the details?”

“Yes, but that’s tomorrow. I want you to show up at my office tomorrow at 11 AM and I’ll take you to the labs where the actual work is.”

“Sounds perfect” she smiled at him and took care of her food while they made small talk. Couldn’t talk about anything specific in a public place anyway.

She ate up and it took her a moment to notice something under her plate. There was a piece of paper. With a drawn with a blue pencil arrow. Colors weren’t even important. It was for her.

_How?_

Bobbi made a show of suddenly noticing the hour and apologizing to Vendler but she would like to get some extra sleep before going to her new work place. Man just nodded and shook her hand. Bobbi discretely took the piece of paper with her and calmly left the building. She had the beginning of a great headache but she needed it solved now.

She had seen arrows before. In weird places true but nothing out of ordinary and she thought she just had the worst case of paranoia considering these she associated with only one person in particular. And she made herself ignore them because it couldn’t have been him, right? That would be stupid of him.

But if it wasn’t him then … then it was A.I.M. Bobbi felt like her face was getting pale and she took a calming breath. Her mouth were dry and she could almost hear them all laughing in the distance. She entered the mall, came to the bathroom’s stall and changed her appearance into some plain brown-haired woman. She left and stood in front of the mirror not recognizing herself.

Whoever it was, it kept leaving these arrows in places where she appeared. And the bloody thing was gone after few hours, like the graffiti on the building in front of hers. What’s worse she couldn’t flee. She was in the middle of the assignment. If it was A.I.M. why the arrow… it was easier if these were job offers… and if it’s him then… why ?

She took about a minute to compose herself.  Then she called Jessica.

“Hello?”

“Jess? You busy?”

“Not really, what’s up?”

“I need to see _him_. It’s important”

“How important?” Jessica sounded alarmed.

“Someone might be on my trail”

Bobbi could hear Jessica cursing under her breath. “I’ll get him home in five.” Bobbi felt weird, she forgot they were together now. “Sucker got himself in trouble with Kate. Gotta give them a ride. You know the address?”

“Sure”

She took a cab eyeing the driver before  even getting in. Yep, paranoia. In her case it was the healthiest thing she could do. She made it to Clint’s neighborhood without any weird flashback incident, paid a driver. She still looked like a plain woman but just to be careful she basically changed into Jessica Jones before coming up the stairs to Clint’s place.

Jessica opened the door and opened her mouth but then closed them and nodded with understanding. She closed the door behind the other woman and Bobbi disabled camotech.

She looked around not really seeing and she found Kate Bishop and Hawkeye…. Clint, sitting on the couch, both looking alarmed and watching Bobbi closely. They were staring. Kate because… it was Kate and Clint probably didn’t know how to behave.

“You hurt?” It was Jessica. Bobbi was going to say she was fine but changed her mind when her head starting to pulse harder.

“Find me some painkillers? My head is going to fall off”

Jess nodded and left to look for something when Bobbi turned to the couch.  Kate was looking at her with tired eyes and Clint got up and went in her direction stopping about five  feet from her.

“What’s going on Bobbi?”

She managed to fish out the piece of paper from the cafeteria. Jess came back then and gave her few tablets. Bobbi doubted they would work but she was willing to try. Trying to ignore the pulsing in her head she handed him the paper and looked him straight in the eye. “There are three solutions to this. First, I went completely nuts. Second, A.I.M. is playing with me and third well…”  she made some weird gesture pointing him and kept staring at his face. “Hawk… Clint is it yours?”

She prayed that it was and she had been free of A.I.M. and sane. She begged not to because she didn’t want him in her life anymore. And yet she could just be crazy. Paranoia was the first symptom anyway.

And she knew. She just needed to make sure. His face was surprised, then focused, then worried. There wasn’t much to analyze. An arrow. And it wasn’t his doing.

“For how long have you been seeing these?” He knew she didn’t need the answer. Jess furrowed her forehead and came to them to see the sketch.

“A month. Random places. The building in front of my window. The cafeteria where I go rarely. Two feet to the left to the entrance of the Academy.  Always vertical, small but visible. Sprayed or scratched. Always disappeared. Once in the elevator, on the door of the grocery store where I go…” it sounded really like she was nuts. Maybe…

“You’re not fucking crazy.”  Her eyes snapped up and she realized she needed to said it out loud. Clint was glaring at her and Jess looked from him to Bobbi wondering if she wanted to get involved. She didn’t. “This” he held up the paper “Where did you find it?”

“I was in the café, ordering food. Someone brought me a plate with this laying under. I was basically being handed this by some civilian.”  She bit her lip. She wasn’t crazy. Couldn’t be. So A.I.M.

“Okay, how do they follow you with the camo-tech? Nevermind. Jess, call Fury and we’re gonna…”

“Hey, buster, don’t get ahead of yourself” Bobbi stepped closer her face screwed with annoyance at his behavior. “I came here to clear something out. I don’t need your help. I have my own corner” 

“With Jess. Might as well sign me in, I want to help Bobbi” Blonde could see Jessica taking a step back. She had no interest in getting into this fight. Clint realized it too. “Jess, Kate, leave for now”

Bobbi could hear the snort from the teenager but soon they were alone in his apartment  glaring at each other.

“I don’t want your help, Clint”  She hated that he was so huge sometimes. He wasn’t exactly invading her personal space but she felt cornered anyway.

“Why the arrows?” he asked suddenly.

“what?” she took a step back, surprised.

Clint rubbed at his chin and continued talking, his eyes burning with something and she didn’t want to know what it was. What she wanted was  to leave. “Why arrows? What’s more why did you notice that?”

“I’m a trained spy, Barton. I see a pattern if there is one” she snarked. She was suppose to be calm.

“But arrows had you whipped, didn’t they? You were wondering if you had paranoia since the beginning. The idea was stuck in your mind that you’re seeing pattern that isn’t there.  A.I.M. knows a little something about you Bobbi that you’re not fully aware of. They know about me. Let me help.” He had her stuck in place the entire  time and when he finally stopped speaking, he stook inches from her, looking down, waiting for her answer. Her breathing was a bit faster than it should be. He was right. Asshole.

“I don’t want your help, Barton.” She was stubborn. But then again. So was he.

“Why not? I can help and you know it! And you came her in the first place. You could have asked Jess, pass the bloody sketch through her! But no. You’re here Bobbi. You know you want my help, even if you’re hurt all over again after what I did before our divorce!” He raised his voice a little and she snapped.

“Why do you bring this up?! You think it’s the reason?!” Well, she could yell too.

“Yes! I think you’re so mad that you’d rather die than let me help!”

She took a step forward and jabbed him in the chest with her finger, hard. “You ignorant jerk, I don’t care what happened there anymore! I don’t remember! I have pieces and all I get from flashbacks is pain and I’m sick of living my life being reminded of my great failed marriage to Hawkeye which I don’t even recognize!” she was yelling and was on an edge.

“Which was A.I.M.’s fault in the first place! We can take care of them together and then you can heal”  he embraced her tightly and she let out short choked laugh.

“Heal? What’s wrong with me?” she pulled away from him and took a breath. Okay maybe three. “I don’t think I can be helped, Barton. I don’t even know if I want to. And mission? It’s none of your concern. Don’t trouble yourself.” She wanted to leave but he spinned her back to him by the arm and backed her against the wall, trying to calm down himself. He was keeping her there cornered and unless she wanted to get into actual fight she couldn’t move away.  She could feel his breath on her head. Breath in. out.

“When we first met you called me jerk. I almost killed you when we met and at the same they later we got married. Founded West Coast Avengers together. You loved the compound. Before you left the skrulls ship? I couldn’t believe I found you, the imposter knew about our kid Bobbi! I fought to get you back I almost killed someone for you. We didn’t break up because there’s no love here Bobbi and I’m sure as hell not going to let the woman I lo… who means so much to me get into that kind of situation without my backup!” he was panting a little, from rage. His eyes were shining and they were so worried… and angry. At her. He licked his lips  looking at her and it unnerved her.

“Why?” it was quiet and neither of them knew exactly what she was asking about.

“I’m gonna hug you now, please don’t hurt me” he announced with a hint of his humor.

“I don’t need a hug.”

“No, you don’t. I do” he said it seriously and she needed to get out before she could decide that having him in her life wouldn’t be that bad actually.

This time she walked into his arms willingly and it felt right. He didn’t ask for, he wanted to help. His hand wandered to her hair and he played with them for a while, breathing. In. Out. In. Out. he was huge, she felt safe like that, he could had her back. In. Out. In. Out.

“oh man, I was afraid you two killed each other.” Bobbi pulled away from him and they noticed Jessica standing there and looking at them with raised eyebrows while Kate was smirking. Of course.

“Not this time, Jess” Clint smiled at the other woman. She couldn’t push him away. He had intel after all. _Intel._ He had memories. Their memories.

She smiled to herself. “I have a mission to complete. Don’t give me that look Clint, it’s important. Jess, give Fury heads up if he has to, he can come over but disguised. I’ll try to get a hold of something from A.I.M. at Vendler’s.”

She got a smile from Jessica and Hawk…Clint walked her to the door. “Listen to me. I’ll probably be watching you for a while. Don’t shoot me. That’s a first. Second, if you think something bad is about to happen sign me. You remember ASL, we used to tell each other we would be fine or if there was trouble when we were undercover?”

Bobbi nodded. “Good. Do that. I’ll see. Stay safe” he kissed her cheek and she was on her way out. she made herself look like some random person with camotech and went back to her apartment. No new signs thank God.

Somehow in the back of her head she knew it was silence before the storm but could bring herself to care. Her life was too fucked up at the moment anyway. She laid down on the bed, sleep coming faster than usual.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (I'm sick this is the only reason I wrote this, don't get used to the updates)

Bobbi was in hurry to get to Vendler’s office and could see a Hawkeye sneaking at the top of the building, watching. There was such a heavy rain that day that she almost missed her. She smiled a little, she should now that Clint would share the task with Kate. So here she was. Watching out for her. Bobbi sped up and soon was in the hall waiting for her employer to show up.  When he finally emerged he smiled at her and it was the most real smile she has ever seen on him and that was unnerving. Nevertheless he did keep his promise and took her to her new work place.

The labs were huge. He had announced her a leader in a biochemistry section of his newest project and she got to meet her coworkers. Unlike in her first assignment he knew exactly what result he wanted and they were going to cooperate with other sections. Full on dangerous weapon factory.

Fury would be satisfied.

Bobbi kind of hoped that maybe she wouldn’t know where these were sent but at least how the final product looks like. No such luck. Even as head of some part of the factory she couldn’t know a thing. He explained it to her though when he dropped her off to the city. The facility couldn’t be there. Size and the products issues.

“It’s easier to keep a secret when very few know about it. You should know that miss Stigler. You still didn’t tell me what your division does and I don’t ask. I expect the same from you”

Bobbi nodded slowly and asked another question. “Why am I in charge of the division?”

“Because you’re capable.”

They didn’t talk at all until they reached his company’s building. “Come to my office”. Bobbi didn’t answer but followed him anyway. She didn’t know what he wanted but she needed to be close to him.

His office wasn’t even nearly as big as she expected. He had the desk in the centre, beautiful one made out of dark wood, a black sofa next to the window and a big cabinet made of the same wood as the desk.  The rest of the room was kept in light colors and it looked really simple and yet screamed: expensive in its elegancy.

He showed her to take a sit and she obediently sat on the said couch by the window, Vendler standing, leaning against the desk. You know that moment when too intelligent people sit and watch each other for weakness? That was interesting. Vendler didn’t take his eyes off Rachel, trying to find a crack within her arrogant and yet loyal façade. Bobbi sat there calmly no fidgeting or flinching. Her chin was up, her posture straighten up not stiffly  but showing that she’s running the show here.

“you know, I have never met a woman quite like you. I’ve seen your work first-hand. Why aren’t you already employed somewhere or running something more than just a cell?”

“Guess you have to start out small” polite smile never left her face and he nodded to himself. He came closer and sat next to her on the sofa when she showed no reaction he reached for  her hand and she looked him straight in the eye.

“You better stop testing me, mister Vendler. It’s not appreciated especially after I proved myself to you already.” She withdrew her hand and stood up, going to the other side of the room.

“How do you know it was a test? Maybe it wasn’t, just maybe that was something honest” he kept watching her.

“I told you to stop.” Her tone was ice cold. “Why? You’re too professional to try these tricks on someone who you just promoted.”

Vendler nodded again. “You can leave now, miss Stigler, I look forward to seeing you tomorrow.”

“likewise, mister Vendler.”

Bobbi left the office, anger still boiling inside of her. It would be so much better if he really would make a move at her. But he wasn’t stupid. The games were his specialty and she needed to do this old-school way. Go undercover and freaking stay there until the opportunity arises. She got to her building and had a brief thought that she probably should relocate since A.I.M. knew how to drive her nuts even here. On the other hand, no one attacked her so far.  She made it to the door and amused herself by guessing who this time would invade her privacy.

She thought about Kate since she was on watch today. Bobbi entered her apartment and saw nothing at first. Both living room and kitchen were empty and she was going to exhale in relief at having an evening free of report when she heard a steady breathing from her bedroom. She walked to the door and watched Clint sitting on her bed eyes raising to see her.

“Turn it off” quiet, insistent voice. She wanted to stay in this form only to mess with him. But he looked really tired. Maybe some other time. She tapped few commands on the device and soon she was back to her own self. Blonde hair in a bun at the top of her head and semi-comfortable clothes. And tired. She let her hair loose feeling her scalp ache from the tension. She lost her shoes and really wished Clint would vacate her bed so she could crush on it. Instead she stood leaning against the wall watching her guest.

“I saw the other Hawkeye in the morning. Kind of expected  _her_  to come get the report.” She was joking and asking in the same time.

“We switched at three.” He was watching her with concern on his face.

“What do you want to know? Because I don’t know much yet. At some point I’ll probably be able to bug the place but not now. I need to get deeper.” While he thought about the answer she took her brush and started untangling her hair.

“I know. I didn’t come here on behalf of Fury. I mean I am kind of… he told me to inform you to make contact when you have something and he wasn’t going to endanger your mission by any contact anymore.”

“He’s going to wait a long time, Vendler is careful with me, I’ll give him that.” Bobbi fought with some stubborn knot and when it refused to untangle Clint took the brush out of her hand unaffected by her glare.

“Stop it. You’ll hurt yourself.”  He steered her to the bed and she really would like to kick him. “What are you doing Barton?”

“Helping you.” She was trying to face him but he forcefully turned her and started running the brush through her hair, much gentler that she had been.

“What do you think you’re doing.” It was pleasant and intimate and she wanted an out.

“I’ve already told you. You’re stressed out. I’m not sure if it’s A.I.M. or me to be honest” his hands were steady as if he didn’t just admit that he might be the cause of the entire tension in her body. Whatever it was she closed her eyes enjoyed the sensation that kept spiking and running down her spine.

“Vendler still tests me. I can see through him so far, I hope he won’t get unpredictable anytime soon” Clint was focused on his tasked but remembered one detail he noticed through the window.

“So him making a move, it was a test?”

“Mhm. You used to do that we were married?”

“No.” at some point he lost the brush and just ran his hands over her arms and shoulders. She let out a tiny sigh and felt his breath on the back of her neck.

“Clint”

“hm?” his breath was hot on her skin.

“You need to leave.” She doesn’t know why she expects him to listen. He never does.

“ _I_ don’t need to do anything.” His tone is steady, and oddly enough he doesn’t come any closer. Oh he’s close and enough that she can feel the heat of his body radiating but he doesn’t touch her except with his hands.

“Why are you doing this?”  She heard him chuckle behind her and one of his hands turned her chin so she could look at him. “You’re going to be alone for a while Bobbi. Not literally, I will watch over for you but in the heart of the situation you’ll be alone. And I know that you’re freaked out about that thing with A.I.M _., this_  used to calm you down. And Bobbi?” she raised her eyebrows at him “What you said. You were never defined by our marriage. You were so much more than that that’s why I married you in the first place. You’re brilliant Bobbi, you just happened to fall for me.” He stroked her cheek for a moment and then left without a word.

Bobbi wanted to murder him for being kind. And because he seemed to be honest. Groaning with frustration she passed away.

But he was right. She was nervous. Days seem to get longer and longer and she found herself missing random people coming by her apartment. Now there was only undercover and then silence. The arrows stopped showing up and to be  honest it freaked her out even more. But no contact. In the corner of her eye she could see people watching over her. Like guardian angels. She wanted to snort at her own comparison.

Her work was interesting. She had a group of ten young people under her. Straight from college just as she had been when she was recruited.  _Barbara_ was… anyway, people were bright, understood her instructions and had interesting ideas. That was all she wanted from that kind of group.

She was almost ashamed but she enjoyed her work there. By the time she saw her window to sneak something to gather information they have done several successful assignments. Oh she knew these were for weapons which were most likely sold to not nice people. But if she was stalling, Vendler would notice. So… lesser evil.

She made herself out to be a perfectionist. And that meant staying after hours. Three months in she was sitting and sorting out paperwork. Scientist or not she needed to get reports in order and make sure  no one ignored that. She would but they were a little scared of her so everything was fine. But Vendler didn’t know that. So she stayed patiently and when she was absolutely sure there was only a few people left she let in the virus that Nick gave her in the meantime. It would give him access to currently used data on the drive which wasn’t the greatest achievement but it was something. And it wouldn’t be as easily detectable as something downloading the data. Little harmless virus. And dormant for about three days. So she would probably come out clean. If not? Well she’s a great fighter and someone was suppose to watch over her. She was going to be fine.

After sending an email to Vendler with all the reports she decided to call it a night. Half an hour later she was back in the city. She went to up the stairway when she heard someone behind her. She took out her gun and spun around quickly only to see Kate holding her hands up.

“Jesus, chill out” she wasn’t even in costume, civil clothes no bow in sight.

“What are you doing here, Kate?” Bobbi lowered the gun. Hawkeye cocked her eyebrow and Bobbi groaned. “We had an agreement”

“Yeah right, it’s been months, he worries. Be glad he was rambling to me and I volunteered before he showed up here himself”

“You’re here to check if I’m alive?”

“Nope. That we can see from the distance. More like are you in trouble but you’re too damn stubborn to admit it” Kate grinned at her and Bobbi shook her head.

“I’m fine. Really”

Kate didn’t look like she was leaving so sighing she let her in to her apartment. She was busy getting off her weapons and camotech when she heard girl’s voice.

“Wow, looks like it’s been empty for months” Kate was walking and looking around and Bobbi couldn’t bring herself to care.

“Almost. I basically live in the lab now” she joined the girl in the living room.

“Yeah, I know that but I didn’t think it looked this sad…”

“Seriously? You’re here to scold my housekeeping?”

“Not really.” Kate grimaced “It’s just… Look, I literally don’t know a thing about you two except  for the fact that you were a thing after you divorced, weird as hell, if you ask me, but he’s… behaving. I don’t know what to do with him but he’s been like that since your slamming around the walls three months ago so figured it had something to do with you”

Bobbi looked at her trying to keep a straight face but failed. She burst out laughing and she could see Kate’s disapproving face but couldn’t stop herself.

“You just said that in the worst way possible, Hawkeye.” Bobbi took a calming breath. “What do you mean he’s behaving?”

“Well, he’s got more life will to begin with.” Bobbi opened her mouth to say something but Kate didn’t let her “He’s worried about you and he told me about your memory loss and honestly I can understand you but remember that he’s hurt too”

Bobbi blinked slowly smile disappearing from her face. She looked at her coldly.

“I’m gonna assume that you are on his side and it’s your attitude that makes you say that, Kate. And I’m glad he has you. But don’t you once forget that I’m the one with a mess in my head and I didn’t once try to get back into his life. I was manipulated into it once the rest of times it was Clint’s initiative. I’m not trying to hurt him Kate. I needed to get back to myself and if he gets burned in the process that was never my intention.”

“that’s funny. He said that once you know? That you two being together meant both of you getting burnt but it was worth it in the end.” Kate stood up from her place on the couch “that wasn’t a guilt trap Bobbi, you’re too smart for that. Just an observation. Good luck on whatever you’re doing” with that she left.

“fucking Barton. Fucking Hawkeyes. Where is Barnes when I need him?” she cursed some more and did what she absolutely shouldn’t. Called Nat.

“What the fuck Morse?” Well, wasn’t she happy to hear her.

“Hello, darling, so you’re home sometimes, that’s nice”

“And sleeping” the annoyance turned into a low growl and Bobbi smiled. “What do you want  annoying woman?”

“see your pretty face?”

“Tomorrow. If you annoy me further I’ll drag your ex too.”

“That might be a good idea”

“You hit your head or something, sweetie?”

“Evil scientist might have last year”

“hilarious”

“up for tomorrow night?”

“night? The two of us and our ex? He’ll be in heaven”

“Legally he’s more of my ex”

“shhh, it will be hot. Don’t know if that’s good yet”

“Okay, that’s it. Back to sleep Nat, see you”

“mhm”

Bobbi hang up and chuckled. Natasha liked her sleep when there wasn’t an emergency. And liked to tease her that’s good. It was going to be fun tomorrow.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is smut for the sake of smut, because my exams went kind of bad and I needed an outlet. So hello, three more exams and I'm back in the world of the living ;)  
> Oh!  
> There's that thing with heart-shaped tube. Google it if you don't know :D  
> Also I can see the end, yay! No idea how many chapters but I'll start closing in soon.  
> ALSO! I started to check this shit for mistakes so there might be an improvement in the language and more background description added. I'll take it one chapter at a time because well. Exams.

Clint and Natasha met in unfortunate circumstances, were lovers for a time being and then partners and best friends ever since. Attraction was still there obviously but it was somehow different now.

Bobbi met Nat thanks to Clint and did remember that bit and somehow they hit it off becoming friends. The three o them were around each other when the time let them. When Bucky came back from the dead things became a little rusty, Clint didn’t like the kid at the beginning and Nat … well  Natasha wouldn’t leave his side. But Hawkeye got over himself before Secret Invasion and then Bobbi was back…

Bobbi looked at herself in the mirror. She got herself a free day since her boss was insisting because working herself over was going to get back at her work finally. So she left and if that day was the day the virus was about to turn itself in well… all the better for her. The blue dress she chose was a casual one but it was nice to actually try and look like herself. Fury would kill her for meeting with people from SHIELD but it’s not like they knew anything about her mission and they weren’t going to talk about it. She just missed her friend.

She showed up with two bottles of wine which could get neither Nat or her drunk but they liked it anyway. Natasha looked and sounded less grumpy than during their phone call so that was another plus. Redhead let her in and went to the kitchen to get glasses. They ordered in because Natasha couldn’t be bothered with cooking now, Bobbi only laughed at her because of that. Natasha looked stressed. Awfully.

They were sitting in her new house and while it was elegant it also seemed a little empty. Bobbi looked at all the space around her and immediately knew that Natasha lived like her, more on the job than not. And to the extreme degree. Redhead was sitting with her legs curled under her on a armchair swinging glass of wine mindlessly while she talked about Steve doing something stupid and Sharon laughing her ass off later to her. Bobbi listened relaxed laughing at the silly story. She didn’t know her well but knew her and Nat were close. Then she shared some stories from her time as a trainer at the Academy.

“I did that and honestly, I didn’t think you’d have the temper” Natasha was grinning at her evilly. Well she wasn’t wrong about Bobbi’s temper.  Blonde cocked her eyebrow.

“When they pissed me off I ordered them to run in the storm for a few hours. I was merciful”

“Like hell”

“You and I both know it could be a lot worse”

“Right, Morse. Go and torture newbies”

“I quite like them” Natasha let out a laugh at that. “Yeah they are easy to like. Don’t you miss them?”

Bobbi shrugged. “Comes with the job, I may meet them in field one day though”

“true” She was about to say something else when there was the knock on the door.

“come in” Natasha yelled  “I hope he has alcohol” she said loud enough for her guest to hear.

Clint came in  with his easy smile and with a bag with few bottles of wine. Nat and Bobbi grinned at each other. “I don’t know what’s the point, you’ll be totally fine and you’ll only make fun of me.” He gave Natasha the bag and shrugged off his jacket. Underneath he had he had ridiculously purple T-shirt  and he was wearing jeans. He towered over redhead even more than he did over Bobbi which made her giggle. They turned their heads towards her curiosity painted on their faces.

“You’re so huge, I realized I must look tiny next to you and I’m really not tiny compared to Nat” she was grinning.

Clint looked confused for a moment and Natasha burst out laughing. “I thought you couldn’t get drunk” he said smiling at her and sitting at the couch next to her. Stealing Nat’s sit, she hissed at him.

“She can’t” Redhead swung her legs over the armchair and took her glassed watching the picture the blondes made on their couch.

“No, technically I can!” Bobbi tried very hard to stop giggling. She was happy and relaxed and she wasn’t going to hold back not when she was among friends. “I’d have to drink a lot of vodka probably because my metabolism is awfully fast but I could!” She had her legs underneath her and was currently pouring herself another glass of alcohol. When she finished she leaned back and looked at Clint. He didn’t look as relaxed as them there was some tension in him that she decided needed to go away for a few hours.   “But you mister, look like you could use a drink so knock yourself out. I promise I’ll only laugh with Nat about it”

Clint for a moment thought this was the weirdest situation ever. He was the only one with his head completely okay here and he was drinking with two of his exes. “As the lady commands” he went to the kitchen to fetch himself a glass and sat down on his spot. “So who’s idea was this weird gathering?”

“Bobbi’s” Nat stuck a tongue at the blonde.

“Yes because someone” she glared at her in response “plays the loner all the time and I had a day off. We were both in bed and suddenly you appeared in the conversation” she smiled at Clint coyly.

Nat’s eyebrows shot higher at that and Clint laughed his charming arrogant laugh Bobbi got familiar with in Hawaii. “So I invade your dreams that’s good to know”

“Unwillingly, yes.. But you know dreams are weird, lately I had a dream about heart-shaped tube with lots of bubbles. Can you imagine? What kind of dream is that.” Bobbi was looking him straight in the eye and smiling wickedly.

Clint choked on his wine and coughed for a minute to get his breath back and when he lifted his head to see Nat squirming in her armchair trying not to laugh too hard. Finally she choked out “That was subtle as hell, Bobbi, I’ll drink to that.”  They made another swing from their glasses and Nat asked him about his brother.  They found out that Barney was around but he was coming in and out it depended on the day. Then both Clint and Nat shared some funny stories from the team since they were working as partners again.  Which was weird because one of the stories involved Bobbi too.

“This is so weird, I have no idea what are you two talking about” she was grinning though.

“Well, you loved camotech and you made yourself look like Nat and started interrogating me about working with my ex-wife again and I got actually scared!” Clint was laughing now, alcohol doing the work, he was sprawled lazily on the couch. “And you made  a damn great impression of her too! I was so mad I didn’t  notice anything until the real Natasha showed up”

“Hey! No one will ever be able to behave quite like me!” called Nat from her armchair.

“No, no one will have quite the same effect as you, you scary thing” Clint teased.

“keep talking, pretty boy, and I’ll tell her how you behaved when I met you”

“Do tell” Bobbi took a quick glance at Clint and saw his embarrassed expression.

“He was smitten and ready to do anything. Fumbling in bed a little too. I think it was because I was  _so_ scary because he got better”

He actually sat up at this and had really disturbed face. “Excuse me? I was spectacular!”

Natasha gave him a sly grin before biting her lip “Well, I did learn you something, didn’t I? Because you  _were_  spectacular, later”

“None of my lovers ever complained, you bratty redhead” He stuck his tongue at her, Bobbi was laughing her ass off by his side to the point where she was bent in half and shaking. “Not even you, you awful woman!” which made her laugh even harder. Clint rolled his eyes at her and grabbed her at her sides making her shriek and squirm violently followed by another fit of laughter. This was the only place where she was ticklish, he discovered it completely by accident few years ago.

Bobbi was squirming and her sides hurt from laughter and he still didn’t stop, she was threatening, she was pleading, then she was begging still trying to get out of his grasp. When he finally stopped she was breathing hard laying half on his lap and managed to choke out: “I’ll kill you” She was glaring at him teasingly but there was wide smile on her face, she looked like the woman he was married to. Clint winked at her and was going to secure her on his lap as he would do before but she wriggled out of it and sat next to him instead, closer than before.

Natasha looked at them raising her eyebrows and drinking her wine quickly. “I am never ever talking about  sex when the two of you are in the room. I’m leaving for a second, don’t fucking destroy my couch” She stood up and left to the kitchen with no real reason. She stood by the table in the kitchen and counted slowly. She got to ten when she heard Bobbi say “Oh God, no, Nat will kill us, and you’ve been drinking”.

“Fucking Barton” Natasha murmured under her breath and emerged from the kitchen. “you two, out of here. Both of you”

“Nat?” Clint looked actually worried. “You okay?”

“yes, I just really like my couch, get the hell out!” she threw them off and before then realized they were standing on the street looking at themselves with surprise. Bobbi laughed silently at the situation.

“I think she heard you” said Clint with mocking anger. She bit her lip and answered “Well, not my fault someone kissed me because he had too much wine!”

They were merely few inches apart smiling at each other happily. “You’re delusional if you think I need a drink to want to kiss you”

Bobbi parted her lips slightly, she wasn’t sure what was going to happen what she wanted to happen. “Doesn’t really matter you still have some of it in you. We should go to our apartments.” She said quietly. His hand raised to touch her cheek, he traced it along her jawline, slowly, making her skin tingle and her breath got deeper. He licked his lips and it really didn’t help when she watched his tongue trace the line of his mouth. The same one that kissed her earlier. She felt her own suddenly got dry.

His second hand traced the slow pattern down her arm to her wrist and down, entwining their fingers together. He had that easy smile of his own and she could feel heart beating hard. “I’m sober Bobbi, just enjoying the moment. And parting is the last thing I want now”

She swallowed and kept her voice steady. “Then what do you want?” she knew the answer. But she wouldn’t  be the one to give it up first. She was calm and collected…

“You.” … and she was kissing him as if her life depended on it.

She was calm and collected usually but she kind of lost it with him. And thank God she wasn’t the only one. He kept her hand in his and the second one tangled lightly in her hair, keeping her close. Bobbi put the left one on his chest and had a brief moment of wonder that they were in front of Nat’s apartment and she probably could see them. She chuckled at that thought and their lips parted for a moment.

He pulled away for a second to whisper against her mouth  “What is it?”.

“Nat might be looking” She stole another kiss deciding that it wasn’t really a bad thing.

“Let her” He was irresistible, letting go of her hand only to press her with his arm against him, leaving her mouth only to travel to her cheek, repeating the trace of his fingers earlier. “We shouldn’t” Bobbi managed to breathe out and everything stopped. He took a step back a little still panting, his eyes clouded but focused. “What do you want Bobbi?”

She could feel him on her tongue. She remembered her dreams and what’s worse she could see why she had fallen for him in the first place. And he said they never stopped loving each other. Not really. “Aren’t you with Jessica?” She stalled.

“I’m not. And it’s not the answer”

“I… we’re divorced.”  She blurted out. Not that it mattered. She was probably going to jump him in five anyway. Fucking Barton.

“This has never been a good excuse for us. I’m not trying to use you Bobbi, I value you too much. Now back to my question, what do you want?” he wasn’t touching her and she made up her mind long time ago, that was just reason trying to speak. “my place is closer” she finally said and  these few words won her the brightest smile she has ever seen on him. Her heart might have been pounding like she was a teenager.

They made it to her apartment, without any incident and against her worries they didn’t even slam around kissing around the corners, just walked… maybe a little faster that necessary. When they got inside and closed the door however,  they lost it.

This time she pinned him to the wall kissing him with all her will  her hand moving under his shirt, feeling his back, muscles on his body. He was tugging helplessly at her dress not really knowing how to get it out of her. Laughter bubbled out of her mouth straight to the kiss and she could feel him smiling. She worked her way down to his neck nipping and sucking feeling his moan vibrating along the column of his throat and his hand sliding up her thigh taking the dress with it. Slowly.

She wasn’t that careful. She whipped his T-shirt from him fast  enough that she thinks she tore something. He laughed at that, T-shirt forgotten she could trace her fingers on his abs, making him shiever, second hand tangled in his hair as both of his were  torturously slow riding up her hips. He bit down on her lower lip, then sucked on it and it made her dig her nails in his arms. She felt hot all over and was so turned on that she couldn’t wait to get  him naked. And herself. His hands were at the sides of her breasts and she lifted her hand so he could take it off her completely.

Then he looked at her. She was an attractive woman and she was well aware of that. But he has seen her body thousand times probably. She was still in her lingerie and he was still just looking. There was lust in his eyes, adoration and wonder. She felt even more turned on just by the expression on his face.

“Now, that’s not fair, is it, you should lose your pants, sport, I’m feeling underdressed” she grinned at him, staring at his muscles in the same time.

“I would have, Birdie, but someone caught my eye.” He was smug because he caught her openly ogling her. Bastard, she shouldn’t be smiling so much.

“Well, come and you might just get some” she bit her lip and made her way to the bedroom, swaying her hips a little, feeling his eyes on her ass as she reached the bedroom.

She sat in the middle of the bed and watched him coming, eyes bored into her face… almost. They kept slipping to her breasts. “You’re still dressed, sport. Should I be insulted?” she was grinning cheekily as she pulled him to bed and made him lay down on his back. Her hand wandered up his thigh to his cock, sliding up and down lightly through denim, feeling him hard against her hand. “not really, good. Now I might just know the way to get this pants out of you.”

“Now I may have a better idea” he grabbed her wrists and rolled them over, pinning her down. “That’s your great idea? Mine was so much better” she mocked him openly laughing at his insulted expression. “Jesus, woman, do shut up!”

He got to her breasts pulled one cup down licking around her nipple. “take the damn thing off if you’re so eager” she scolded.

“You sure you don’t remember this? Because you sure as hell talk like you used to” He said, unclasping the bra quickly and throwing it across the room, then licking across her nipples slowly, flicking his tongue over it.

“Positive” Bobbi breathed out, her voice unsteady already “Wouldn’t take so long in Nat’s apartment if I did… oh”  he scraped his teeth over the peak and pinched the other one sharply making her moan out loud. She saw his smug expression but couldn’t really do anything about it but clutch at his hair and feel him bit down on her breast before switching to the other. His hand travelled slowly down her body till he got to the edge of her panties. He was playing with it, slipping his finger barely underneath then out, pulling at the scrap of fabric then leaving it alone.

“Oh my God, do something!” She was writhing. It felt good but she wanted so much more. “as the lady commands” she snarked at ‘lady’ but it turned into a sigh really quickly as he traced his fingers down her folds feeling the damp fabric. “So you dream about our  wedding night” he started casually, as his hand found her clit and rubbed it in circled through her panties. “Was it as good as I remember it was?”

“You want to talk about… about my sex dreams now?” now she was panting. His fingers sped up and the lace of her underwear only intensified the sensation.

“Yes, now’s as good time as any” He was smiling at her, watching, working her fast with his hand, his amazing, muscled arm, the second one palming his cock through his stupid pants. “So was it good?” he laid down between her legs and nuzzled his nose against her cunt making her growl. “Yes! Yes it was good. Spectacular as Nat would have called it”

“Well, Nat’s not here. You are” He said smiling and licking her through her panties. “ahhh, yes, we were fucking in that tube and everywhere in the bloody place and it was amazing” as she said this, her voice rough, she felt him pushing her panties aside and licking directly at her clit, flicking his tongue hard against it and pushing his fingers inside of her.

She pulled herself up, or tried to because he pushed her down immediately, working her higher and higher, his fingers moving hard and fast inside of her, making her shake and moan and pant. She kept on his hair, pulling probably way too hard but she couldn’t help it. She was feeling so good and he sucked so hard on her clit, it shouldn’t bring her so much pleasure but it did. She was floating and she was loud and when she felt herself chasing the peak she was moving her hips up and down begging him not to stop, working the pleasure up more and more  and finally she felt the enormous pleasure wash over her and scream left her lips as she shook and he eased her down with slow licks and withdrew his fingers finally.

She opened her eyes even though she hadn’t realized she closed them. He was looking at her with that smug expression, his chin wet and she brought him up to kiss him thoroughly. “I still want you”

“Good, I want you too” he grinned at her and  she pushed him on his back and pulled his pants down along with his boxers. When she got rid of it she took his cock, throbbing clearly wanting in her hand, the other one on his abs. She stroked him for a moment looking at his face the whole time before she took the head in her mouth and traced her tongue over it, making him exhale deeply, still looking at her. She sucked it gently for a while before licking down the underside and then taking him whole in her mouth. It took a while, he was big but the growling sound he made were everything she wanted to hear tonight. She swallowed around it and felt him buck up a little, his hands tangling in her hair.  “Sorry” he breathed out and she came out for air for a moment pumping him lazily before repeating  taking him whole down and sucking hard. She felt her lips getting even more swollen and his cock getting even harder. Finally she pumped him hard and fast and he took her wrists and pulled her away from him.

“Slow down sweetheart” his voice was strained and Bobbi loved that. “Why? Not keeping up baby?”

“Cheeky” He said and rubbed at her clit hard and fast, kneading it beneath his fingers occasionally until she was a panting and moaning mess and pulled his hand away when it was getting really good for her.

“I hate you”

“You keep saying that. But why? Not keeping up, baby?” She would murder him, but he was making her feel way too good. She grabbed protection from her drawer and rolled it on him, then she pushed him down and sank down on his cock, making both of them moan loudly. 

“Have you always been an ass in bed or is it recent?” she gasped out rolling her hips  in circles. His hands settled on her hips picking up the tempo.

“Nothing changed. Told you no one ever complains” he practically growled. They sped up and he was clutching at her hips so tightly she was sure  she would get bruises. She laughed at that and he looked at her with disbelief before chuckling himself.

“Something funny, love?” They were throwing these “loves” and “babies” and it was the best she felt in a long time. Or maybe she just missed sex so much. “Nope,  just happy”. He flashed her a bright smile and rolled them over, picking up the pace. Her bed was squeaking and it made her laugh again and she thought it broke him, because he rolled them again and she was lying on his chest giggling.

His hand was going through her hair and down her back and he was shaking a little. She looked up to see him smiling and not irritated as some would be. Bobbi kissed him lightly  and said “Sorry”

“It’s okay, good thing you don’t laugh exactly at me” Clint pushed himself  on his elbow and kissed her slowly, intensely. She started moving slightly and he rolled them again and started pushing in and out, still kissing her hard. It didn’t take long. He was touching her, kiss lips if they weren’t kissing her then they were sucking at the sensitive skin of her neck, his breathing was loud and her thinking narrowed down to the feeling only. She was probably  digging her nails in his back too hard but he didn’t seem to notice that.

She was so consumed by the sensation that when finally she came she almost missed his whispered “I love you” somehow over her head before he finished himself, growling in the back of his throat. He kind of collapsed on her and she pushed him aside. “That’s not happening, you weight a tone or something”

He snorted at that but rolled to the edge of the bed standing up and leaving the room to threw out the condom. Bobbi stretched  and enjoyed the moment. She liked it even more when Clint came back, still naked and laid down next to her so she could snuggle. Her arm laying loosely over his hip, his embracing her. That was  really nice.

 “Not regretting that yet, Birdie?”

“Nope. Not going to either” she was getting sleepy. He said that he loved her but the situation was lightly screwed up anyway… And she wasn’t really planning on sleeping with him, was she? She wanted to unwind, and inviting Clint to Nat was something to help her cope with the idea of him in her life. Okay, so this scenario has crossed her mind but she blamed the dreams.

And damn it, she really didn’t regret that.

“Good, me neither”

“Good, now don’t move, I have work in the morning and I need to sleep a little” she murmured. Talking was taking way too much energy.

“Sweet dreams, Birdie”

 

 

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end! Kidding. I'll write the epilogue. But for now that's it :D Enjoy and sorry for the huge break :D

_She was pregnant. She was so happy. Her husband was looking at her with that eyes full of wonder and amazement. Smiling widely, happiness radiating from him. He took her in his arms and spinned her around. “Baby” he laughed in her ear and she felt tears on her face. Why was she crying?_

“Wake up, Barbara”

_She was laying in the pool of her own blood. Clint was holding her murmuring that everything was going to be fine. He was desperate. She was broken. The ambulance was on its way. She was sobbing, cries wrenching her body. Her little baby. Suddenly she shuddered violently and blacked out…_

… Bobbi opened her eyes suddenly gasping for air. She was soaking wet. Her clothes were clinging to her body uncomfortably and she had no idea where she was or how did she get here. It was too dark to make out anything here and turns out she was kept in place by a field of energy. Sure. Normal rope would have been in shreds by now. And someone actually knew how to keep her in place so it was her favorite person in the world.

“Come the hell out, Monica!” She yelled loudly, her voice was hoarse as if she was screaming for a long time. She probably was. She couldn’t remember how she got here. She was probably in a werehouse. Probably. Her eyesight was getting better and she could make out the generator of energy keeping her arms and legs in place. And she could make out metal rods. She was wet. Oh God. This was going to hurt.

She was getting her memories of the morning slowly. Waking up cuddled to Clint. The warmth. Realizing that she wouldn’t really mind that in her life. Going to work. Leaving him in her apartment. Meeting Richard in front of her building.

She could feel getting paler and colder in a second.

“Oh no” Her chest felt like it weighed a tone, her vision got fuzzy and breathing suddenly required all of her focus.

_“Excuse me? Do you know if a blonde woman still lives here? About thirty. Her name is Bobbi” she was cursing him in her mind._

_“I don’t know anyone that fits the description . I’m sorry” She was never more grateful for camo-tech. She turned around and tried to walk away._

_“Please just...” She heard a thump and a broken exhale. She turned around quickly taking out her gun and was met with her previous lover’s body dead on the ground. His throat sliced. How the hell did she not hear that?! She had  hyped senses, what was going on?!_

_“Just a bad luck” She heard in her ear, woman’s voice, she knew that voice. The world turned black. She didn’t have a second to grieve._

She wanted to cry. He didn’t do anything wrong. He just showed up. Died not of an old age or tragic accident. No. It was merely a coincidence. And she was the reason. Bobbi wanted to scream. But it was not the time. What she needed was to get out of here.

“MONICA!” She yelled as loud as she could. “whoever the fuck is listening get that bitch in here, she wanted face to face, she will have it, COME HERE”

There was a silence for a longer time. They wanted her to break. To feel the anxiety. Fear. No way. If anything in made her angrier.

She was in situation like that before. Many times in fact. Like the Skrulls…

_They used her to extract information about the Avengers. Hell, they recreated the West Coast Compund. Make believe indeed. She remembered waking up with a terrible headache and them feeding her with story about her depression. She believed them all the only one she suspected was her husband._

_The cheesy one-liners and goofy boy-ish smile were all in the right places but there was something wrong. She didn't want him to touch her._

_And that was something that didn't happen very often. They used to touch constantly, kiss, make love, hold hands. What was worse he kept pushing at her he kept seducing her he clearly wanted to bed her but his touch was all wrong. She didn't want this. And it felt more like Phantom Rider experience than their really common marriage interactions. The comparision alone made her naseaus._

_But he kept pushing._

_She found out that it was all the illusion. She found out she was taken. She ran away and hid. There were those creepy notes, the Skrulls were right on her trail and she was scared. She couldn't hide forever and she had no one to run to. No Avengers, no Clint. No one. So she did what she could best. She adapted. How did that creep called her? "The robbed witch" she was a nightmare for the Skrulls. SHe learned they language she knew how to disappear. She could do anything. Anything but come home._

_She came after him. That son of a bitch impresonating her husband. And he tried again. He kept pushing her, talking about him and how could he even talk about Clint... She was crying she wanted the nightmare to stop, she snapped his neck. The next thing she knew was the darkness._

_And that's how her nightmare began. She was beaten and tortured. They wanted more informations. She had none and if she did she wouldn't give it. They kept hitting her. They wanted to punish her for escaping. For becoming stronger. She wished they kicked her hard enough so she could black out. They locked her in the cell. they were coming at night just like she did, scaring her and beating again._

_She was sitting strapped to a wall. These things… aliens. Skrulls. They were shocking her with electricity every now and then. Now more because of vengeance rather than to get information. Oh they tried to get pieces of that too. But they got most of it by now. The invasion started and they have finally found the fugitive. Her._

_“Bobbi, baby” she wasn’t even crying anymore she looked up to see Skrull impersonating Hawkeye in front of her._

… she shouldn’t remember this…

_“Bobbi, you don’t have to be here. Come on, I love you, let’s go home” he was smirking “I love you, we love each other” it was disgusting and she felt sick to her stomach._

_“You’re not real”_

_“We can have a family again. Try to have a baby” it stung. She could feel tears on her cheeks._

_“YOU’RE NOT REAL” she yelled so loud her throat was sore._

_He came closer and touched her face, wiping away  tears. She tried to get away but she was immobilized. “Come home, sweetheart. It’s gonna be okay, tell me what you need”_

_Suddenly her vision cleared. She looked up, straight into his eyes. “I need you dead. Better yet, by my hands. I would love to get my hands on you and show you just how much I loved my husband” she spat on him and seconds later the currents started again. She wasn’t surprised. She screamed._

She was  jolted back to the reality by the sound of boots coming in her direction. She opened her eyes, she was sweaty and crying. Beautiful picture.

Here she was. Monica Rappaccini. “Oh hello, you wanted to speak with  me, have you reconsidered about the job offer?”

“What do you want Monica? You’ve been tailing me since Florida and it wasn’t exactly subtle. Clearly you don’t need me to that shitty project of yours”

Monica smiled at Bobbi and it wasn’t pleasant. “No, you’re right. We had that project figured out before you got a hold of it. It’s actually interesting because you have one  of these babies in you right now”

She blinked. That was the only reaction Monica needed to  smile even wider. Woman came  even closer and laughed loudly.

“Oh God, you have no idea, do you?” When she was met with blank expression. “I mean, I knew the sexual attack would disorient you but you really didn’t notice when that barman injected you with the chip? Really?”

She did. She just didn’t think about it too much, already having a lot on her mind. She figured it was some drug that wore off. It was the chip…

“Why not kill me right there in Hawaii?” well not that she wanted to die.

“Barbara Morse, you’re no use to us dead, but be sure that you will be if you won’t cooperate” Monica said coldly. “Now, I have a pilot for that thing that can cause you a little bit of pain. And I know that you’ve been infiltrating us, that chip you got? It’s a tracker. What I don’t know is what you extracted. You tell me that and then we can get you the papers, you’ll be officially working for A.I.M. as you’re supposed to originally. Scientist of A.I.M.”

“What infiltration?”

She felt the pain immediately. It was long and it felt like someone was tearing her flesh apart. Stupid water. She was trashing and crying  and screaming even though she knew it wouldn’t do her any good. When the electricity flow finally stopped she was panting and wished she could kill Monica.

“That was the sample. You tell me what you extracted. Because you’re a good spy, Barbara but you could see that we never stopped going after you. We wasn’t exactly subtle on Hawaii and then driving you to the edge with this stupid arrows.  I know you got something, I need to know what and then we can be all good here. I might even spare your ex-husband once we finish off the Avengers.”

She felt more tears streaming down her face. And something else. Rage. She could see Monica almost killing Clint. Some time ago. She dreamt it once, she remembered it now.

She remembered the first time they’ve met.  They were fighting. She remembered leaving Skrulls ship …

_she saw someone in the crowd and felt happy and sick in the same time._

_Clint._

_When I bed her she'll tell me everything we need and more_

_This isn't Skrull. Clint was real. He was wearing something ridiculous and he was real.He had to be. They were free. She didn't know a lot of people there.  She went straight to Clint though her body was tense. Too tense. He changed._

_Is that a way to talk to your husban?_

_She was standing in front of him with sheer force of will. "Clint?"_

_"Is it you?" his voice changed. It wasn't smooth arrogant talk of Clint from West Coast and old years. Nor it  was  the tone she hear at the Skrulls. It was heavier with experience. Tired. Hopeful. Determinated._

_"Oh my God you look terrible"_

_"You look great" Liar._

_"What are you wearing?" He kissed her. She stiffened fully expected to feel the aversion like she did with fake Clint. She didn't. She touched his face. new scars and wrinkles on his face. Time didn't stop when she was gone. Oh god. She lost so much. And he lived on._

_She wasn't part of his world now. Nor this world. She needed an out. But for now she just stayed with Clint. They didn't talk. Just sat in each other's company and it was the first time she felt safe from years. There was a mess in her mind. and she was presumed dead. Her life was a disastear but finally she could have a break. even if it was for an hour or so._

“STOP THIS” she was crying and she didn’t care Monica was watching with what was almost pity.

“you’re life was hell. We wouldn’t let that happen to you” she said, clearly. Surely.

“What are you doing to me?!”  Bobbi’s voice was weak in comparison. And her head was starting to hurt really bad.

“We? Nothing. You’re memories are coming back. Their amount increases exponentially. The timing is very convenient though”

Bobbi kept her mouth shut, trying to force her mind to cooperate.

“So how about those little facts? What have you got from us?”

“Nothing, I wasn’t there long enough and that asshole kept checking what I was doing you bitch”

The next current made the previous one feel like tickling. She was sure someone in the other building heard her screams clearly. By the time it ended she was sobbing.

“it.. it was a virus, I was supposed to plug it in when Vender will be less suspicious of me “ her voice was hoarse “Which was not the case. There was a plan, I never had a moment to make it work, we got nothing and you got me. Hardly seems fair” she glared at Monica and got shocked for another few moments.

“I don’t believe you” Monica looked almost sad and it made Bobbi laugh hysterically.

“That’s a shame! What? We can’t be besties now?”

Monica shot her a death glare.

“You know you’re husband is a lot like you. Cocky. Loud. Brave. And doesn’t take a good choice when you give it to him. But you know what he also is? Completely disposable for us. Now, he’s just been taken. He’s in the air. And no one knows because he was taken from your apartment, that was sloppy Barbara. Tell me what I need to know and work for A.I.M. and Clint Barton will be fine.”

They were glaring at each other for a few minutes. None of them backing off.

“You’re bluffing” Bobbi finally said.

“You’re call”

“You don’t have him”

“Do you want a proof?”

“I do”

Monica laughed again and took out her palmtop, she held it so Bobbi could see. The camera, live transmission.

Clint was sitting on a bench in a cell. Going around, checking for weak points. With one hand checking steadily and the other making something that looked like a nervous trick.

Bobbi’s lips parted and she exhaled slowly trying to calm down and failing. Her headache was awful, she felt new sets of memories appearing somewhere in the back of her head but she couldn’t… she needed to focus. They had Clint. And she didn’t know if she trusted him enough to judge the situation now.

“you know the floor in that cell can disappear any moment. I think he’ll figure it out soon. He knows it’s us. He knows it’s up to you if he lives. Give me what I want and _he lives_ ”

She took a quick, calm breath. Trying to conceal what was going through her head.

She remembered their wedding. It was quick and they’re marriage was passionate.

That he was the most skilled marksman she knew and an Avenger and you don’t get that title for nothing.

She remembered loving him.

that he had done the impossible before.

The way he wouldn’t give up one her.

Their love was like a fire. Bright, passionate, consuming and it would burn them alive.

She remembered that he was one of the most resourceful people she knew.

She remember she trusts him. They trust each other in situations like this one.

 

Bobbi looked Monica straight in the eyes. “What do you want me to do? Beg for mercy for  him?” Her voice was quiet and cold.

“I told you want I want”

“And I told you I don’t have anything, Monica, I really don’t. I didn’t have time to do anything!”

“I still don’t believe you” her voice was cold and she held her finger over the palmtop. “Last chance, Barbara. Tell me the truth or he falls”

“Monica,  don’t do it. I have no information to give, please!” Bobbi face was of pure horror right now and Monica seemed to waver for a moment.

“then he’ll die for nothing. It happens” she touched the screen.

Bobbi watched her husband fall to his death.

She screamed. And then she felt the tears in her eyes again. She felt the despair getting covered with anger.  He was supposed to have   a plan. Why didn’t he? She felt herself falling on her knees, she wanted to kill everyone in this building but couldn’t find the will to get up.

She was kept by force field. How was she on her knees? Bobbi looked up to see Monica watching her with pity on her face. “So you really didn’t get anything. Shame. I would actually let him live. Don’t sulk. you’ll get over it.” She took Bobbi’s arm and hauled her up. “you have no ties anymore. And damn you, you either comply  with working for us or die, your choice, Barbara.”

“Letting me out was a huge mistake Monica” she said, weakly.

“And why’s that?” her grip got tighter around Bobbi’s arm and she was reaching for her gun.

Bobbi punched her with the other hand in the face and had her pinned in 20 seconds, taking away the gun from her in the meantime. “You had an update on me, Monica? Or not really? Why am I alive after Superia shot me? Do you know what happened to me?”

“Of course I know.  Super Soldier Serum. Everyone could see that” she spat out. Bobbi looked at her unimpressed. “mhm, you people keep forgetting that my metabolism and healing is awfully quick too. Along with the strength. And that I’ve seen enough not to crumble after emotional breakdown. You’re a dead woman, Monica”

“Because I killed you’re precious Hawkeye?” she was smirking.

“Because you piss me off. One day, I’ll find you. And I’ll kill you. Not today though.” Bobbi got up, took her gun, and keys and ran like hell.

She managed to get out of the building and realize she was in the middle of nowhere. She kept running.

She has been running for over two hours when she finally spotted a bus station. She got a hold of a phone and called one of Nick Fury’s secure lines.

“Identify yourself” she didn’t recognize the voice. It didn’t really matter.

“Barbara Morse, codename Mockingbird, 3-5-9-9-1-4, secure the line” she rasped out.

“Line secured. How can I help?”

“Tell Fury I’m in the middle of fucking nowhere, and that he should send someone here because I just escaped  A.I.M. and I’m pretty sure they’re looking for me”

“I’ll send someone…”

“Tell this to Fury, if you won’t, I promise, you’ll regret it.” Yeah, her patience has ran out some time ago.

She was waiting hiding behind the corners for about 20 minutes when Jessica Drew arrived.

Bobbi hopped into her car immediately. “you have no idea how happy I am to see you”

Jessica eyed her carefully. They were both wearing civilian clothes only Bobbi looked like she had crawled out of hell. “You don’t look happy. You look like you’re about to cry and you’re not giving me a death stare yet so what happened?” Jessica actually looked worried.

Bobbi closed her eyes and bit her lip trying to find her voice. “It’s Clint…”

“What about him?”

“Monica threw him out of the plane. There is no way he could have survive the fall…” She tried very hard not to cry.

Jessica was silent for a moment. “Did you see the body?”

“No”

“You and I both know he had done the impossible in the past. Have some faith in him” she drive for a while until she said “shit. Well, trust me on this that he’s done a lot of things similar to surviving that kind of fall. I know you don’t remember but…” she was flustered. And focused on the car.

“I remember actually. I was held there and I got the full recap from my brain…”

“You okay? Well, shit, of course not, sorry.” Jessica looked like she regretted ever talking to her.

“I will be. Eventually” She looked forward deep in thought.

She had memories. She knew who she was more or less. She knew exactly who she lost.

Bobbi turned herself completely off and the next thing she was aware of she was on her way to Nick Fury’s office. Actually Jessica dragged her there. When she finally pushed her into the room Bobbi was met with Nick Fury himself and Clint sitting in front of him.

He survived.

“Clint…” she said quietly. He turned around and sent his biggest smile ever. “Hey, Birdie, you trusted me”

“I always did” she sat herself on his lap and hugged him tightly. His arms circled her and pressed her against him. He was okay.

The “nervous tick” was their _trust me, I can do it_ sign. He revised it with her few days ago. “How?” she whispered in his ear.

“Few circus tricks and Sam following me so he could save my ass”

“thank God”

“Morse? You ready to talk?” Fury asked, loudly.

She got debriefed, quickly, because everything would make sense from now in the reports. Fury wanted to send her to a hospital but changed his mind after she sent him a glare. She was tired and the only thing she wanted was sleep. Clint walked her to her apartment.

“Do you want to come in?” she asked cautiously.

“Bobbi, I…” he fall silent for a moment “You and  I… we… Someday you’re going to get your memories back and then we’ll talk. I feel like I’m taking advantage of you, charming my way to you.”

“You’re serious” she was stunned.

“Yes”

“Well you’re timing is perfect, sport because I had some overload at A.I.M., so come, we need to discuss what to do about that anyway”

Clint looked surprised. But he came and sat with her on the couch in her apartment. “You remember … us?” he wanted to make sure.

“yes, Clint, I remember. And we have hell of a situation, what time is it that we hooked up? Fourth? Third?”

He furrowed his brow for a second before catching her wrist. “Don’t you dare call it a fling”

“Why?”

“I want…” she knew what he wanted to say. She covered his mouth with her palm.

“We tried, few times actually.”

“do you love me?”

“that’s irrelevant, the breakups were never about lack of love”

He took her hand and kept it for a while. “Do you love me?”

“I do. I love you.”

“Bobbi… “ his hand travelled up her arm to her neck and the way they were currently sitting their foreheads were touching and they were leaning to each other.

“that’s not fair” she breathed and she was sure he could feel the words on his mouth.

“We wouldn’t be working together long term.  We couldn’t harm each other by not thinking clearly. I want to wake up next to you, and share my life with you.”

“Damn it to hell” she growled and said “Yes, I wanna be with you too” He had the smile that could cure cancer and she was hopeful. Really hopeful,

He closed the gap between them and they were kissing, slowly  and sweetly until she announced that she’s going to sleep, exhausted from the day. Clint soon followed her example and in no time they were cuddled on her bed in the bedroom, deeply asleep, both of them dreaming about the hopeful future.


	11. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, Lexi for sticking up with me, I know it will take a while till you get here but thanks, love you :D  
> Epilogue should be T-rated but someone convinced me otherwise.  
> Whatever.  
> (also I put it into series because I'll have another story in this reality, not sure multichapter or not.)  
> (I am so bothered by the ending, I should have just dropped that bomb at the end.)

Three months later…

Bobbi and Natasha got debriefed about the mission and left SHIELD building feeling more than ready to finally have some time off. The mission took them more than two weeks and while it wasn’t a complete success they were satisfied. No more could have been done under those circumstances.

They wore civilian clothes and walked in the general direction of their apartments.

“So what are you up to now, Nat?” Bobbi looked at her smiling brightly.

“I’ve got something to take care of” Natasha responded with a smile.

“And alone” it wasn’t a question “Look if you feel that whatever you have there is going to hell, call. Got that?”

“Yes, Morse” Natasha sent her a coy smile and Bobbi felt like slapping her for a second.

“I mean it. Or I’ll make Liho destroy your stuff. I can do that, you know? When you’re off and away for just right amount of  time”

Natasha laughed at that. “Do that and Clint will know about that one time you and I had a little fun” Bobbi just raised her eyebrow at that.

“He knows. He’s very jealous by the way, you might have a restraining order if you come too close to me” They laughed at that for a moment and soon they parted their ways, Natasha teasing that at least the blonde will get some action soon and she had a cat.

Bobbi got to Clint’s apartment, smile still tugging at the corners of her mouth. She hadn’t seen him for a while and she missed him. Simple as that.

She knocked few times and shouted his name when there was no answer. Finally she sighed and pulled out her own keys, there was a huge chance he was off with Kate so there was nothing to worry about. She dropped her battle staves on the counter and went to take a shower.

Hot spray of water was the best thing right now and she would be content just standing there for the rest of her life. Well, naked Clint coming here would be definitely an improvement. She imagined his muscles flexing under the water, her hands roaming over the body she knew so well and yet wanted more and more every day. His hands would get tangled in her hair and she would try to swat them away so he wouldn’t make knots and that would had the exactly opposite effect. In a moment she would be pinned to the wall of the shower his lips sealed to hers. Oh God, she had to stop thinking about her husband. Ex-husband. She got herself all hot and bothered and she didn’t know where exactly he was. And she didn’t feel like taking her of that problem by herself. She left the shower in hurry.

She and Clint, they had an arrangement. Mainly they did spy work or mainly she did spy work, Clint worked with whatever avengers team he wanted. No spy work with her. Too much baggage, too much history. They were together. They loved each other and they wouldn’t let go. But work was separate. Unless Bobbi would be recruited to the Avengers and agreed to that. She declined few times already.

Which of course meant they wouldn’t see each other for a long periods of time. Like today. She literally itched to see him and touch him. She called Kate to find out when she would be returned her man.

“Bishop” girl sounded like she just got up.

“Hey, Kate, do you know when Clint will be back?” she collapsed on the couch and turned on the TV. There was the news about this week’s disasters.

“Hm? Oh, Barton, sure thing Bobbi, he was doing something for the avengers but texted me that he was coming back from by now.” Kate’s voice sounded a little better.

“So he’s walking home now?” The news just reported about the explosion on the subway, a bomb, or so they said causing a  lot of the tunnels to collapse. No one has been recovered yet.

“Walking? No, he’s in the subway, actually, he heard you were coming back and wanted to see you soon” Bobbi felt her face getting paler all blood flowing away. “Thanks, Katie, I’ll call you back” she said, trying to sound calm. There was nothing to be worried about. Maybe he would come home any second now.

With her hands shaking a little she dialed Clint’s number and kept the phone to her ear, breathing shakily. No signal. She threw the bloody thing across the room.

No freaking way.

She would pull it out herself is she had to and transfer her own blood to heal him. It wasn’t how it worked. Not at all. But she would try everything. Technically she knew she was bound to live longer than him and that she would watch him die. But not today. She was desperate for action so she grabbed her keys and staves and opened the door only to stand face to face with Clint Barton himself.

“Hey! You look like you’ve seen a ghost” he gave her the brightest smile and she threw herself at him hugging him tightly.

“Where’s your phone, you idiot” she hissed into his neck.

“Crashed, by some moron. Why?” he lifted her a little and got in, closing the door behind him.

“There was an explosion, I was worried sick about you” she glared at him but couldn’t stop the smile that appeared seconds after.

“Well, don’t be. I’m okay, baby. Are you?”

“Oh God, yes. I missed you” she let go of him and grabbed him by the shirt leading them to the couch intent clear in her eyes. “we’re not fucking on that couch” he said, taking off her t-shirt in a quick move, his eyes automatically watching her breats.

“I’ll ride you?” she helped him get rid of his jacked and a shirt.

“Deal” he said and finally kissed her. Their teeth clashed and Bobbi groaned but soon they were moving their mouths against each other in  a familiar rhythm, his tongue finding its way into her mouth and sliding against her own and the roof of her mouth, she wanted to bite him. She pulled away for a second just so she could nip at his lower lip and bit down on it with a little more strength, making him move his hips in her direction. Her hands explored his chest and his back, his beautiful back and  the next thing she noticed was being crashed by him on the couch. He had that cocky grin and she pinched him making him yelp.

“Not fair, Birdie.”

“Mhmmm” they switched and he was sitting with his back against the back of the couch and she straddling his hips. This was his face was awfully close to her breasts and he had one thing on his mind. Her bra came off in a record time and soon he was sucking and licking at her nipples, the other hand stroking her thigh while she was roaming lightly with her nails across his chest and moving over his jeans, practically dry humping him.

“Bobbi?” he said, his mouth above her nipple, breathing over it while he talked making her shiver.

“Hm?”

“We need to lose more clothes.”

“Agreed”

They got rid of their jeans and reassumed their  position wearing only their underwear, Bobbi sliding against his cock with intent even though there was still a barrier between them. But she was getting wetter and he was hard, she could probably come just from this, especially with his mouth on her breasts.

Her hand went to his cock but he stopped her, he took both of her hands and crossed them at wrists behind her back.”Keep them there” he said against her throat. The position exposed her breasts and it was enough for him for now.

“Now, you get the dominant streak? Please don’t tell me you have handcuffs around” she was smirking at him.

“No, they’re in bedroom, where you left them, miss Morse” roamed his lips up her collarbone, her throat  and just behind her ear making her breath hitch and her hands to move to the front.

“ah ah, keep them there” she groaned but complied and tried to be still while he was sucking gently on that spot making her moan out loud and move frantically against his cock. She didn’t know where exactly were his hands but it was driving her insane.

Finally she snapped “Touch me, or let me touch you, you bastard” she more felt than heard his laugh and soon a hand appeared on her breast, sliding down along her body, slowly, very slowly. When they finally got to her panties, his lips still sucking at her neck, she almost stopped this whole thing and took him right away.

He ripped her panties. Of course he did. “You’ll regret that. I mean it, Clint” he smiled and finally, Finally, pulled off his own boxers and positioned her on top of him. He knew she was  ready so she slid down effortlessly and they both groaned, satisfied.

Clint leaned back and smiled at her. It was still a cocky smile but combined with something else. Adoration. Love.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, you’re little fun with my hands is over?” she asked because riding him restrained would be a little difficult.

“Nope” he grinned and his hands wondered to massage her breasts and taunt her nipples again. He wasn’t playing around either, pinching them hard just how she liked it and after few seconds she started moving. It was awkward, she needed to use her legs to keep balance and it felt incredible. He was inside of her and soon she was panting, moving at quite decent pace as he described it. She clenched hard at that making him sputter. So far he was practically purring with pleasure.

“oh fine” He took her by the hip and started moving her faster than she could alone and the other hand wandered to her clit, rubbing it in quick circles and she moaned really loudly. “Oh God, keep this up baby” she managed to say in a choked voice before moaning louder and louder until she finally reached orgasm. She shook with her whole body and with her hands behind her back she collapsed on Clint, breathing hard. She could feel smugness radiating from him. He stopped moving her and stroked her back for a moment.

“You good?”

“Yeah”

He moved her quicker than before, relishing in the sensation of her body. Bobbi was still half-laying on him so she took her time to suck a hickey on his neck  which made him drive into her with new force and she squeaked, he would laugh at her about that later, and finally he finished, breathing hard and hugging his wife.

“Welcome home” she murmured, tired.

“mhm, same for you, baby”

“You know, the whole “I thought you were dead” sex is great.”

“I know, right? Please don’t die for real because you want better sex”

“Fine”

Soon they fall asleep, both of them too exhausted to talk for now. They would the next day, talking about everything and nothing. Neither of them has imagined they could ever have what they share right now and yet it is working and they love the little life the made out for themselves. They hoped it could last for a very long time.


End file.
